Triad Consignment Sales Are Here!

By Rachel H and Guest Blogger Chrissy Freeman

We quickly learned last year that moms in the Triad are ALL ABOUT some consignment sales! There are so many from which to choose, and they kick off this weekend! We enlisted the help of Consigning Chrissy for this blog! Chrissy has a fabulous website called consignmentmommies.com where she provides readers with everything they need to know about area consignment sales. Below, Chrissy has written a terrific blog for us on "12 Steps to Becoming A Consignment Diva" and also has Triad area sales listed along with links for info. Please share your sale at the end of the blog if it is not already listed and be sure to contact Chrissy at me@chrissyfreeman.com so she can add your sale to her oh-so-smarty website!

12 Steps to Becoming A Consignment Diva
By Chrissy Freeman

I’ll admit, I can sometimes be “picky” about things. So when I got pregnant and my mom stocked her own personal nursery with consignment sale finds, I was skeptical. And then, I went to my first sale. And my second. And my third. I was quickly addicted. Not only was the selection exponentially better than what I was finding at Target, Carters and Baby Gap, but it was a great green approach, the toy & clothing quality was surprising and of course, the prices were great.

Over the seasons, I’ve learned from other “Consigning Mommies” and thought I’d share some tips on channeling your inner Consignment Diva.

For Consignors:

#1: Clean Out Your Closets & Start Labeling! The benefits are two-fold. First, you’ll get some extra closet space. Second, you’ll get the added benefits of early shopping at most sales. And that means you’ll get your hands on the best items before the crowds!

#2: Presentation is Everything: Break out the iron and press all of your clothes and some toys, if necessary. It'll hide a bit of the pilling as well :)

#3: The Price is Right: Most people agree that the best pricing strategy is about 1/3 of what you paid retail for an item.

#4: Add Notes on Sizing: If something fits like a 12 month item, but is labeled 18 months, make a note and make sure it is placed in the 12 month area. Items often get left hanging because they look too big / small in their sections.

#5: Read Your Consigning Instructions Twice: Every sale is a bit different so don't miss the opportunity to sell because you didn't follow directions!


For Shoppers:

#6: Consider Volunteering: If you can’t part with your clothes and toys just yet, volunteer with your favorite sale. You’ll get in early and get the best finds!

#7: Man Your Troops: Let’s face it, shopping in packs is much more fun! You might need a second opinion on whether that $2 green dress is really cute or just really cheap! Plus, with so many sales in the area, you’ll never make it to all of them… but your friends just might! Spread the word on items you are looking for and help a friend in return.

#8: Pre-Game: While the hubs is gearing up for March madness, get to those closets and start your pre-game attack by taking inventory. I always have a list of basics I need and then “perfect match” items that I need to complete an outfit. Whether you have a formal list or just do a mental scan, you should always have an idea on what is in your current inventory!

#9: Bring a Tote: There’s nothing more back breaking then carrying armloads of clothes and toys around. Bring a rolling suitcase, rolling tote or a laundry basket with a belt tied around it so you can pile up your selections.

#10: Look High, Look Low: As we all know, children’s sizing can be all over the place! Look in the sizes immediately above and below your child’s size so you don’t miss something spectacular. I always have “perfect fit” pieces (a cotton top & bottom with perfect length) in my bag to compare against pieces with questionable sizing. You may also want to shop for next season. There may be a STELLAR deal on a beautiful boutique dress for the perfect price!

#11: Gather Like Crazy, Then Filter: When shopping, I first grab everything that catches my eye. Then, I find a corner and filter my selections. This is where having a buddy is helpful. My mom always brings me back to reality… “do I really need ANOTHER pair of khaki pants?” Once you’ve filtered, return your pieces and do another quick sweep to catch what other moms have returned.

#12: Map Out the Sales: There’s a ton of sales in the area, so make sure to map out your plan of attack and compare notes with your friends. Below is a list of sales in the area, but you can also search by zip and view ratings & reviews at ConsignmentMommies.com.




Triad Area Consignment Sales

Feb 12-14
Wee Runs Consignment Sale – High Point

Feb 19- 21
Wee Runs Consignment Sale – High Point

Feb 25-27
Children's Boutique Resale - Winston-Salem
*Also read our blog on the CBR here.
Fellowship Day School @ Fellowship Presbyterian Church – Greensboro
KidShare at the Dixie Classic Fairgrounds – Winston-Salem

Mar 4-6
Christ United Methodist Church – Greensboro
Cornerstone Christian Church - MOPS – Mocksville
First Presbyterian Church - Greensboro
Friendly Ave Baptist Church – Greensboro
Lewisville United Methodist Church
Mt. Tabor United Methodist Church – Winston-Salem
St. Paul's Catholic Church Sale – Greensboro
Summerfield United Methodist Church

March 12-14
Christ Community Church Consignment Sale – Greensboro
Clemmons West Children's Clothing and Toy Sale
Covenant Church UMC – High Point
Fairview Moravian Church – Winston-Salem
First Christian Academy & Preschool – Kernersville
Glennview Baptist Church – Winston-Salem
Grace Presbyterian Church - Kernersville
Greensboro Mothers of Multiples Spring/Summer Children's Consignment Sale
Parkway Presbyterian Church - Twin City Mothers of Multiples
Shady Grove Wesleyan Church – Colfax
Trinity Church of Greensboro

March 17-19
Ardmore United Methodist Church Preschool – Winston-Salem
Bethlehem Angels Preschool
Kid2Kid Burlington
Main Street United Methodist Church – Kernersville

April 15-17
Northwest Baptist Church
West Market Street UMC & Early Childhood Center Home & Closet Sale – Greensboro

Don't forget to register to win $25 gift cards (plus $25 gift cards for each of your three girlfriends) to shop at Beverly Hills on Main and Harry Smidgepodge in Jamestown! Click here to get all the scoop, and to register. The winner will be randomly picked on Friday, Feb. 11 and announced Feb. 14. Good luck, Smarties!

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FIT Nutrition Class: Toddlers and Picky Eaters

By Rachel H

Got a picky eater? This class is perfect for you!
This two-class series addresses the challenges of feeding toddlers and is led by Brenner FIT team members, including a registered dietitian. The program is based on Ellyn Satter’s Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense. It is FREE and open to the public.

March 10 and 24, 6 to 7:30 p.m.
April 14 and 28, 6 to 7:30 p.m.

Location: Gateway YWCA, 1300 South Main St., Winston-Salem.

Learn about:
• picky eaters
• over/under feeding
• food variety
• refusal to eat
• portion size, and much more!

To register, contact Sara Ebbers at sebbers@wfubmc.edu or call (336) 722-5138 ext. 318. Babysitting is provided, but please be sure to request this when you register.

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How Do You Talk to Your Kids About Talking to Strangers?

By Katie M

I just saw the movie The Lovely Bones, and even though it’s been years since reading the book, I cried just the same. The story begins with the murder (and implied rape) of a young girl who, for the rest of the story, narrates her experiences from Heaven as she and her family seek revenge. It’s a tough story – both to watch and to read – but it sheds light on an important and harrowing lesson all parents must somehow communicate and confront with their children. I think the scariest part is knowing Susie Salmon, the main character in the story, is 14-years-old (an age when you’d think she’d know better than to get in such a situation) and was lured by her neighbor (not necessarily a “stranger”) into a remote place where the crime was committed.

The whole scenario presented by The Lovely Bones is undoubtedly my greatest fear as a parent as I’m sure it is with you. It’s not something you can discuss with your child and assume it will sink in. You can have the whole talk about not talking to strangers, but what about people who aren’t necessarily strangers in the eyes of your child?

Consider the whole Natalee Holloway story, a different twist on the topic of strangers. She was 18 and left her friends with a boy her own age who she innocently trusted. I was completely addicted this story and watched Greta Van Susteren night after night. At the time my daughter was only a year old, but I could not peel myself away from the horrifying details and unthinkable grief her family must have been (and are still) going through.

I also inherited a lot of paranoia on this topic from my mother, and for good reason. When my mom was six-years-old she came close to being a victim of one of these horrible situations. She had gotten off the school bus at her friend’s house, and then later walked home by herself. (I know it’s impossible to think of a six-year-old walking home by herself, but it was the early 1950s and, as you know, it was a completely different world). My mom was wearing her Catholic school uniform, and a strange man approached her saying his daughter was starting at the same Catholic school but didn’t know anyone in her class. He asked if my mom could come home with him to meet her, and as a trusting six-year-old would do, my mom agreed to get in his car.

At that point he drove her to a deserted field outside of town and exposed himself. Literally - and luckily - at that same moment, my mom remembers a bunch of dogs and its owner coming up over a hill near the car, and the stranger drove away before anything worse happened and dropped my mom at the local YMCA. Little did the stranger know, but that YMCA was right around the corner from my mom’s house, so she walked home thinking nothing about what had happened except that she was going to be in trouble for not coming straight home from school. As soon as she turned onto her street, the police were already at her house waiting to question her about the man and his car. She was lucky to say the least! And her own memory also protected her. It wasn’t for another 20+ years before my mom recalled everything! It all came back to her in the middle of the night after she had been married for several years. (Unfortunately she doesn't think that man was ever caught.)

So, needless to say, that first day of kindergarten for me – leaving my mom and taking the bus by myself – was not an easy task for my mom! And to make matters worse, I forgot to get off the bus after school - throwing my mom into a huge panic attack – but I was ok :)

So, let’s get back to the topic of teaching children about strangers. As soon as The Lovely Bones ended, the four of us (all moms) said we were going straight home to - once again - talk to our children about not talking to strangers. But it’s more than just “don’t talk to strangers,” it’s also “don’t go anywhere with anyone unless Mommy or Daddy say it’s ok.”

But how do you communicate this message about people who aren’t necessarily strangers? Or people our children innocently think must be OK because they have a child who goes to their school (or so my mom thought)? How do you talk about all this without making your outgoing and happy child unsociable and paranoid? Or what if your child ever gets separated from you? They will have no choice but to seek help from a stranger. And if you think about it, just about everyone is a stranger to a child, at least at first, including police officers.

It’s a lot to think about – for both the parents and the children. You can come up with rules, but not all rules are practical. Situations constantly change, and with that, the rules change too. So to simplify things, we are following these steps with our children for now:

1.) Be polite to everyone, but never go anywhere with anyone unless Mommy or Daddy (or their current caregiver) says it is ok.
2.) If they are ever separated from us, they need to seek out someone in uniform (and that can be a police officer, a security guard, a cashier, or even a waiter) to talk to. This means we are also working on identifying all the different possible “uniforms” with our children.

So please add your thoughts. What are your rules, and what smarty advice can you add to this topic?

Don't forget to register to win $25 gift cards (plus $25 gift cards for each of your three girlfriends) to shop at Beverly Hills on Main and Harry Smidgepodge in Jamestown! Click here to get all the scoop, and to register. The winner will be randomly picked on Friday, Feb. 11 and announced Feb. 14. Good luck, Smarties!

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The Nanny Diaries from Brooke: Tips for hiring a nanny or baby-sitter

By Guest Blogger Brooke Farmer

This past May I had one of those lovely, unexpected moments where you really feel appreciated for what you do, completely reaffirming your commitment to your job. Going through the mail one evening I recognized the return address for a family that I used to nanny while I was in graduate school in Richmond, VA. Inside was an invitation to the high school graduation for Wes, the young man I had taken care of from the age of nine to eleven. There was also a note from his mom saying that he had specifically asked that I be invited because he knew I would be proud of him for reaching this milestone.

Honestly, I could not wipe the smile off my face as I read the note because Wes is one of my most memorable charges; largely because of the extended debates we had over homework and eating vegetables. At the time, Wes’ daily struggles with both the academic and social aspects of school created lots of tension in the house and there was more than one night that I came home and told my then fiancé that I was done with being a nanny.

Thankfully, I never carried through on my threat. Ten years and two children of my own later, I am still helping parents raise their children, a job I take very seriously, especially now that I am a mother as well. I have learned a lot in my thirteen years as a nanny, often by trial and error, and think that I have a unique perspective because I can speak for both the family and the childcare provider. I hope that the following tips are useful to any family that already has, or is looking for in-home childcare, whether it’s a full-time nanny or the date night high school babysitter. You will see that I use the term “nanny”, but I’m talking about all in-home child care providers (including that rare species, the “manny”).

•Make sure that your nanny is CPR and First Aid certified. While there is a small time commitment on your nanny’s part and a financial cost to you, this is a must, especially if you have an infant or toddler in the house. Trust me; any nanny worth having will appreciate the opportunity to learn these skills. Our biggest fear is having a child in distress and not being able to help them. Contact the local American Red Cross office for information on certification classes.

•Children reflect their parents’ behavior and demeanor towards other people. Treat your nanny the way you want your children to treat them - with respect. You have hired this person to help raise your children, not as your personal maid. I have never minded when I get to work and there are a few coffee cups in the sink that need to be put in the dishwasher, but repeat days of sinks overflowing with the previous nights’ un-rinsed spaghetti dishes start to get a little old. While my employers’ intent was not to treat me like a maid that is how it made me feel. And, it wasn’t a coincidence that the children in that house had the full expectation that I should trail behind them and be at their beckon call, picking up toys on demand.

•While we are on the subject of cleaning up after people, give some consideration to the amount of housekeeping that you expect from your nanny. Every nanny should be willing to do the routine cleaning tasks that come up in the course of a day- loading the dishwasher after a meal, wiping down tables and highchairs, helping make beds after naptime, etc. If you have an infant, young children that still nap, or older children that tend to entertain themselves, then I think it is within reason to ask your nanny to do some basic housekeeping, such as vacuuming and running some loads of laundry. The best way to decide is to consider whether you are comfortable cleaning while watching your children. If so, by all means ask your nanny to help out around the house. If you are hesitant to clean because you’re pretty sure your kids will take the opportunity to give their Little People a bath in the toilet, then it’s probably best to let your nanny give them her entire attention.

•Have the discipline discussion and explain your discipline strategies in detail. Telling your nanny “We use timeout” and pointing to a chair in the corner does not count. Give examples of discipline issues you have with your children and explain how you deal with them. No matter how wonderful your children are, have a plan for discipline, because they will act up at some point. Most importantly, let your children know that your nanny has the authority to discipline them and HOLD UP YOUR END OF THE BARGAIN AS A PARENT. There is nothing more frustrating as a nanny than when you get hung out to dry by the parents. I can’t begin to count the number of times I have had a parent completely cave to their children and give back the toy or video game that I had taken away after they hit/bit/pushed their sibling for the third time. That only has to happen a few times before the kids figure out they are in the drivers’ seat and that they will often be saved from the “evil” nanny.

•Because of the personal nature of the nanny/family relationship and the friendship that often ensues, it is easy to overlook the basic employer/employee issues that should be discussed like vacation, illness, incentives/pay increases, and performance reviews. For example, will you offer your nanny paid vacation? This depends partly on whether she is part- or full-time and whether you can afford it. Another question is what are your expectations when your children are sick? As a nanny, I fully expect to be wiping runny noses and dosing out ibuprofen as a regular part of my job. Personally, I have never minded working when kids had colds or any of the other usual culprits. But, I have sometimes accepted employers’ offers to skip work when the illness was a nasty intestinal bug that I likely would have gotten myself and ended up sick, out of work, leaving the family in a tough spot. Finally, set up a regular schedule, say every six months, that you will sit down and discuss how things are going and address any concerns either of you have. Assuming things are going well, think about your willingness and capability to give merit-based raises to your nanny. If you can only afford to pay your nanny $10/hour and you know that will not change in the long run let her know that upfront and look at other ways you can show appreciation. Do you have a skill or service you could offer instead? For example, I once worked for a family that owned a landscaping company but had maxed out on my hourly rate. They offered to do regular lawn maintenance for me in lieu of a raise or yearly bonus and I gladly accepted.

•My husband will tell you that timeliness is my Achilles heel, so he will find it ironic that it is a pet peeve of mine when it comes to my job. It is very common for families to hire a nanny and give them a best-case scenario schedule. This means telling your nanny that her day will end at 5:15 because in an ideal world that is the exact time you will walk in the door from work. I highly recommend building buffer time into your nanny’s schedule. Allow fifteen or thirty minutes of time in the beginning and end of your nanny’s day to allow for traffic, grocery store stops, or someone walking into your office at 4:55 pm. This also guarantees that there will be an opportunity for the two of you to touch base on a daily basis. Also, if you are going to be late getting home please call and let your nanny know. Obviously, they are going to stay with your children until someone gets home, but don’t take advantage of that fact by consistently being late.

•I have worked for a couple of families where the parents were extremely busy and our contact was limited to the couple of minutes we crossed paths in the morning and evening. In both cases this led to the children becoming messengers, telling me that mommy wanted me to use a different pan to make grilled cheeses or that the silverware should be arranged differently in the dishwasher. While this was useful and appreciated information, it also started to turn the nanny/child relationship on its head. It wasn’t long before the message became “Mommy said I could have five cookies while I watch one more Fresh Beat Band.” You can’t blame the kids for trying! If your schedule really does not permit you to pass these messages along yourself then write a note, make a brief call the evening before, or even send a text message (which I have found to be a great way to communicate with my current family).

I hope these tips have given you some ideas of ways you can make your at home childcare arrangement work even better. By no means are these ideas "one size fits all." The most important thing is that your kids are happy to see your nanny walk in the door each day and that you have no concerns when you walk out the door!

Don't forget to register to win $25 gift cards (plus $25 gift cards for each of your three girlfriends) to shop at Beverly Hills on Main and Harry Smidgepodge in Jamestown! Click here to get all the scoop, and to register. The winner will be randomly picked on Friday, Feb. 11 and announced Feb. 14. Good luck, Smarties!

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Smarty Dad: Andrew Burhans

By Rachel H

Many moons ago, I went to college with one of the sweetest girls in the world, Dawn. It was no surprise that Dawn found someone with just as much generosity and thoughtfulness as herself when she married Andrew. I am so excited to introduce Andrew as our Smarty Dad today!

Andrew has lived in the Triad for about 16 years. He grew up in Durham, went to WFU for college, worked in Charlotte for about a year and then moved back to Winston Salem in 1994. (Holy cow, was 1994 really 16 years ago???? I am getting old.) Anyway, Andrew and Dawn have three children, Tucker (10), Cameron (7), and Emma Cate (5). Their family is very involved in their church and they love to attend WFU games. The Burhans spend a lot of time watching each others’ after-school activities such as basketball, swimming, soccer and gymnastics.

Aside from being an active father in his children’s lives, Andrew is the Software Engineering Manager for Republic Mortgage Insurance Company in Winston. He loves anything to do with computers, gadgets of anything “techie”. He also brought a fabulous program called All Pro Dad to Southwest Elementary, which we will discuss more below. ..

Your family has a very tight bond. How do you teach your children the true meaning of “family” and how to appreciate the time you have together?
Dawn and I try to make sure that we do as much as we can together … the whole family, that is. I think it’s extremely important that I be involved in my kids’ lives as much as is humanly possible. I don’t want Tucker, Cameron & Emma Cate to grow up and wish that their dad had spent more time with them, so quality time together is very important to me. We all eat dinner together at the kitchen table every night. We have family movie or game night about once a week. We go to Wake football & basketball games as much as we can. We go to church together on Sundays & Wednesdays, and we all go to each others’ sporting events & activities. In addition, everybody has jobs or chores around the house, and we try to help the kids understand how a family has shared responsibilities in order to help each other out..

Please tell us more about All Pro Dad.
All Pro Dad was first started with the help of Tony Dungy and is the fatherhood program of Family First (a national organization that focuses on strengthening the family and promoting principles for building marriages and raising children). The primary goal of the All Pro Dad program is to equip fathers with the moral and educational resources necessary to make them better fathers and role models for their children and within their communities.

There are local All Pro Dad chapters all over the country, started by fathers who want to be involved and create a time & place where dads and kids can strengthen their relationships together. The All Pro Dad organization helps kick-start the creation of local chapters by providing materials, resources & door prizes that are used during the “All Pro Dad’s Day” breakfasts. These are monthly breakfasts held & organized by each local chapter where fathers and their children can get together before school, eat some food, gain good fathering & family insights, have fun and even win door prizes. I thought this was the perfect program to bring to our kids’ elementary school.

What inspired you to start this chapter?
All Pro Dad provides daily email tips for fathers from their website, www.AllProDad.com, and I had subscribed to these emails for about a year. These were very short emails, just a small paragraph usually, and I found them encouraging and extremely relevant & useful. After awhile, I began to seek out more information from their site and found that fathers could become more involved by attending local All Pro Dad days with their children in their communities. When I searched for local chapters in our area, unfortunately, there weren’t any. The closest group was meeting in Greensboro, and there weren’t any in Winston-Salem. So after much discussion and prayer with Dawn, I decided to pursue the possibility of starting a chapter at Southwest Elementary in Clemmons. Not surprisingly, the PTA and Southwest Principal, Mike Hayes, were very supportive of starting this program. I’ve put together a website for our local chapter that provides information, materials & online registration for Southwest Elementary fathers who have an interest in this. It is: www.SouthwestDads.com

Do you think you will be expanding the program to other groups or schools?
I have considered whether it might be beneficial to broaden the scope of our current chapter beyond that of Southwest Elementary families, but right now, I think it’s best to focus on growing & improving the program in its current location.

I’d love for other fathers to consider starting other chapters around the area … there can’t be too many. And if I could be of any help to anyone else who might be curious about this, they can email me at: andrew@southwestdads.com

What is your favorite thing to do as a family?
Go to the beach. We love to spend the entire day on the sand and in the ocean, then playing games or going out together in the evenings.

What is your favorite thing about Dawn?
Her selflessness. She spends countless hours volunteering at the kids’ school, participating on numerous committees, offering to help our family & friends with anything they need, and still takes care of all of us. She is the best mom and wife any kid or husband could ever imagine.

What has been your proudest moment as a father?
When Tucker and Cameron accepted Jesus as their personal Lord & Savior. I can honestly say that there’s nothing more important or eternal than that decision, and I’ve never been more proud of them for those choices.

Is there anything that your parents taught you that has stuck with you through fatherhood?
Sure. Three things come to mind right away: (1) They taught me the importance of our Christian faith, and (2) that my children’s language and actions will reflect what they hear and see from me, and (3) to treat people with respect and kindness, regardless of who they are or what they believe.

How are you able to juggle all of your responsibilities in your career while still making time for family?
I couldn’t do it without an incredibly patient & loving wife who helps me, and an employer who is flexible and values a balanced work & family life.

Funniest thing one of your kids has ever said?
Cameron (our 7 year old), when Duke was playing against Wake Forest in basketball a few weeks ago: “Mom, will I still be part of this family if I pull for Duke instead of Wake?” He was completely serious, and after a long family conference, we decided to let him remain as part of the family. :)

What is your favorite place to go out to eat as a family?
Chili’s … best chips in town!

Favorite date night spot?
Ryan’s Restaurant on Coliseum Drive.

I wish someone had told me sooner about …
TriadSmartyPants.com, of course … duh! :) Ok, no you didn’t pay me to say that. I’d also say Skippy’s Hot Dogs in downtown Winston. Wow, hot dogs on a pretzel roll? I wish I had known about those a long time ago!

I could not live without …
Krispy Kreme Doughnuts! I mean, really, who can?

Andrew, I thoroughly enjoyed all of your answers, thoughts, and inspiration to others!

If you know a Smarty Dad, email us at triadsmartypants@gmail.com to nominate him!

Don't forget to register to win $25 gift cards (plus $25 gift cards for each of your three girlfriends) to shop at Beverly Hills on Main and Harry Smidgepodge in Jamestown! Click here to get all the scooop, and to register. The winner will be randomly picked on Friday, Feb. 11 and announced Feb. 14. Good luck, Smarties!

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Another Chance to Win Circus Tickets!

By Rachel H

Have the snow days made you feel like a ringmaster with the kids at home, acting sillier than normal and needing to get out of the house? We’ve got the perfect remedy – let’s go to the Circus!

In less than a week, you'll be able to attend Barnum's Funundrum at the Greensboro Coliseum!

Show Dates and Times:
Wed, Feb 10 7:30PM
Thu, Feb 11 10:40AM, 7:30PM
Fri, Feb 12 7:30PM
Sat, Feb 13 11:00AM, 3:00PM, 7:00PM
Sun, Feb 14 1:00PM, 5:00PM

If you have not already purchased tickets for your family, you can win four tickets to the showtime of your choice by entering this contest!

Our giveaway for the night at the O.Henry Hotel was so successful, that we would like to do this same contest and ask our readers to help us build up our new fan page on Facebook.

All you have to do is invite 10 friends to join our Facebook Fan Page to get your name thrown in the hat for this prize. Email us at triadsmartypants@gmail.com and send us the ten names of the friends who you invited. We'll then put your name in the hat to win four tickets to the circus! AND even better ... for every additional ten names you send us you will get another entry! So, invite 100 friends to join our Fan Page and you will get ten entries. Just be sure to send us an email that lists all the people you invited and be sure they live in the Triad area. Anyone who entered the O.Henry giveaway will be automatically entered into this contest as well. So if you sent us 50 names last time, you still have five entries into this new contest for circus tickets.

Click here to get to our Fan Page and invite friends to join! You only have one week, but we will randomly choose one winner each day for seven days!
Good luck!

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Talking with Your Child About Sex

By Guest Blogger, Daniel Krowchuk, M.D.
General Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine Expert at Brenner Children’s Hospital

It’s a fact - one third of 9th graders and two thirds of 12th graders in the US report having had sex. If you’d like your child (girl or boy) to act responsibly and make sound decisions, talking about sex is essential. Ideally, these conversations will occur as natural extensions of discussions you’ve already had about “sensitive” issues. No doubt, you will have discussed the names of body parts in early childhood, “where babies come from,” and the body changes that might occur during puberty. The fact that you talk regularly and openly with your child about all sorts of issues will provide a foundation for a discussion of sex.

It’s very likely that opportunities to discuss the subject will occur before any formal “talk.” A story in the newspaper or on television about sexually transmitted infections or teen pregnancy, or a romantic scene in a movie or on television is a perfect moment to ask what your child thinks and to offer your perspective. However, if this hasn’t happened by the age of 11 or 12 (depending on their level of maturity), it’s time.

It’s wise to schedule a time for the talk – trying to begin the discussion when your child is involved in homework or another activity may not be well received. You might say, “There are some things I’d like to discuss with you - no, you’re not in trouble. When would be a good time for us to talk?” Prepare for the talk, thinking in advance of what you’re hoping to accomplish. You won’t be able to address everything in one session. This is just the beginning and you’ll want to build upon your discussion in the future.

So, how do you break the ice? There’s no single right approach. It’s OK to acknowledge that you’re uncomfortable with the subject. “I’d like to talk with you about sex. I know this may be embarrassing and difficult, but it’s important.” Again, if a story appears in the newspaper or on television, use it.

Ultimately, you’ll want to share your values and perspectives. However, ask what your child thinks. Understanding their beliefs will help shape and direct the discussion. You’ll want to impart the message that involvement in a sexual relationship is a big step best delayed until one is older and more prepared emotionally. As important as your views are, avoid a soapbox speech. If the discussion becomes entirely one-sided, your child may feel that there is no opportunity for future communication.

As much as we hope that teens will delay becoming involved in a sexual relationship, in the end they make the decision. For this reason, it’s wise to prepare for the unexpected. Help your child understand the responsibilities and consequences associated with having sex, including not engaging in unprotected sex. Make it very clear that you are willing to talk with them about anything and that you love them – no matter what.

Last, parents may worry that talking about sex will encourage it. However, research does not support this concern. In some ways, talking with your teen about sex is like to teaching them to drive. Would you send them out on the road without proper guidance? The education won’t cause an accident but a failure to prepare may.

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