Do I Play With My Kids Enough?

By Katie M

I will never forget the words one mom said to me when my first born was just six months old. She told me she was “too busy to play with her kids.” At the time she was a stay-at-home mom and her children were in elementary school full-time. She did not have any work or volunteer obligations. I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure she also had a hired maid, a husband who helped with dinner preparations and a laundry list of babysitters she used non-stop. All that, but she was still too busy, she said.

As a new mom, those words hit me like a ton of bricks. I remember being so angry and thinking (and later wished I had said), “Why did you even bother to have children?” Who knows – maybe she was exaggerating or didn’t realize what she was saying. Regardless, those words from her still haunt me. And after six years of being a mom, I am still trying to put those words into perspective.

So now my children are ages six and three. I have one in elementary school full-time, and one in preschool several days a week. I think I’m pretty busy. Besides this little thing called Triad Smarty Pants, I also work on occasional freelance jobs. I clean my house, do the laundry, prepare dinner most nights of the week, manage the grocery runs, care for my kids, blah, blah, blah.

I know, I know. You all do this too – plus a lot more! I’m not saying my situation is unique at all. We are all busy moms – whether we work or not. I get that. But despite the 8 to 13 waking hours I have with my children every day, I still worry I am not playing with them enough.

Being a mom and a wife is my first job (everything else comes second). And so lots of times that means I need to empty the dishwasher instead of color or paint. Or, vacuum the house instead of play in the yard. Or, change the laundry or start dinner – instead of play another round of I Spy.

I know it’s important to stay on top of all those things around the house, but I also know it’s equally important to live in the moment and not sweat the other stuff. The house will get clean, we’ll find something to eat for dinner (even if it’s just grilled cheese sandwiches), and chances are good we have a few clean outfits left at the back of our closets.

Added to this mommy guilt is the constant plea from my kids, “Play with me, play with me, play with me.” It makes me feel as if I never do, even though I know that’s not true.

Yet as much as I want to spend more hours playing, I also get easily burnt out. So, on the opposite spectrum, I have a confession to make. In the words of Rachel's four-year-old daughter, “I would rather stick pins in my eyeballs” then dress up Barbie for hours on end or search for earthworms and spiders. I’m all about getting down and dirty with the kids, but I’m also all for fostering independent play. I mean, really - there is a reason we bought this house with a dedicated playroom and fenced-in backyard, right? :)

So when I’ve had enough of play and pretend, I go back to the same daily chores of cleaning, laundry and cooking while they continue to play (or not)…and then the predictable pleas of “play with me” continue...along with the unending cycle of mommy guilt..and it goes on, and on, and on...

As I go back and forth on this topic – and strive every day to NOT be the mom who says “I’m too busy to play with my kids” – I wonder if you all share this same struggle? Do you worry you aren’t playing with your kids enough? And as much as you want to play more, do you admit you get easily burnt out too? Where is the happy balance for you?

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Do You Deserve a Push Present?

By Rachel H

A few weeks ago, a group of my girlfriends got into a discussion about "push presents." If you have never heard this term before, it refers to a gift given to a mom (usually by the dad) after giving birth to a child. These presents are traditionally jewelry or a trip.

Well, the discussion got very heated with many different opinions and I could not believe how passionate some people were about this topic! Wow! We had one end of the spectrum with mothers who felt that the gift was well-deserved after nine months of carrying the baby and hours of delivery. They felt that the gift was not only deserved, but expected.

Then we had a group who thought the push present was the most ridiculous thing they had ever heard of and that the child should be present enough. This group also felt that the final "gift" of pregnancy was something that was deserved by both parents, and that a healthy child was a perfect gift.

But what about the people who tried umpteen times to have a baby and went through years and years of heartache? Another group of my girlfriends thought this group deserved a present.

Then there was my friend who said the husband was the one who deserved a gift for putting up with her crankiness for nine months!

Needless to say, I thought this would be a perfect hot topic for today. I would love to hear what you all think about a push present. Have you heard of this before? Or better yet, had your husband heard of this before? Did you get one? If so, what was it? It you didn't get one, were you disappointed?

Chime in below and if you are unsure of how to leave your comment, click here to find out how. And PLEASE remember to treat others' comments with respect! Remember ... to each his own!

Tomorrow is your last chance to register for our bonus giveaway with "Send Out Cards". Everyone wins, so why not sign up? You could save more than $50 in greeting cards. Click here for all the details.

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Smarty Tips to Save Money

By Jen P, Charlotte Smarty Pants

It seems like everyone is in a panic over the economic conditions we are facing today, and rightfully so. My family included. Not too long ago, I was pretty much fired from one of my primary job responsibilities as a mother, grocery shopping and Target shopping for my family. This was a complete knee-jerk reaction by my hubby. But I'm not angry with him, I'm actually breathing a sigh of relief.

I'm not proud of the fact that I spend most of our hard-earned $ at two of my least favorite places to frequent: Harris Teeter and Target. My husband has known for a long time that I'm not the most efficient when it comes to grocery shopping. I never go in with a list because it's usually a last minute trip like "oh no, we're out of milk and bread" and then I come out $150 later. It's not like I buy things that will go bad. We actually throw out very little. But it's the little extras that go in my cart that have really been adding up lately.

You see, I am flawed by design with regard to grocery shopping. I'm a go-down-every-single-aisle kind of gal, just in case I miss something that I absolutely cannot live without. And that's the problem. You need to go in with a list and get in and out of there or you're toast. You should also shop the perimeter. You'll spend WAY less, not to mention it's much healthier since that's where all the fresh stuff is kept.

So my husband, Randy, recognized my weakness and stepped up to the plate. I know, he's a gem, isn't he?! He now grocery shops every Wednesday when the new e-Vic specials come out as well as double-coupon days (I'm not a coupon girl only for lack of time, but I'm changing my ways!). We have on our to-do list to do online grocery shopping, but we're never organized enough to take that initial step. Someday we'll make it happen!

I have also been banned from Target. This is actually something I have wanted to do for a long time anyway. I'm not a fan of their return policy plus I think Target just makes you feel like you're getting a good deal. When in reality, their prices are just as high as Walgreens, CVS or even, Harris Teeter. And if you get me in Target, I'll always pick up an extra pair of jammies, or Halloween decorations or something. These items are not necessities, so I have stayed away for a month and a half or so with a few "cheats" here and there.

I have to say, this system is working for us. Monday and Tuesday meal menus are pretty lame in our house, but we're surviving just fine. And I'm happy to report that we've saved at least $150 a month on groceries. I have been defeated, but am willing to take a hit for the team since it means we're saving some serious $$!

My other tips:
* For me personally, I have stopped using credit cards. If I can't pay for it with cash, then I don't really need it.
* Play Wii or rent movies for date night.
* Carpool when you can - saves a ton on gas.
* Go out to lunch and dinner less often. You'd be surprised at how much lunch in particular costs and can accumulate fast.
* Shop local when you can - we cannot afford to have our local economy shut down. This will exacerbate the problem.

I also turned to our Charlotte Smarty Pants team to give us some of their tips on saving money and I encourage you to do the same at the end of the blog!

First up is Tracy, our Smartiest saver of all...
"I am a retail store discount junkie! I actually make a game out of how much money I can save when I go shopping. I'm talking about those little deals that come in the mail where you get 20% off your entire purchase during a certain time or save $25 if you spend a certain amount. And my favorite is when stores like Gymboree or the Loft give you "bucks back" for a future purchase based off what you are buying today. Usually this ends up being half off your future purchase, even after sale prices!!

The best way to get these deals is to sign up for that stores credit card. Now, I hesitate to encourage anyone to sign up for another credit card and risk putting yourself in debt during times like these - you MUST be diligent about paying off your bill when it comes or you negate any savings you rack up in interest charges! BUT - if you do it right, you really can save a lot!

For example, I have an Old Navy card which is good at Old Navy, Gap, Banana Republic and Piperlime (shoes) and the deals are usually good at all 4 stores as well. Every time I use my card at one of those stores, I earn points toward $10 Bucks Back coupons. Plus they send me extra coupons in the mail and often you can get free or discounted shipping for online purchases! Ann Taylor is another card I have that frequently sends coupons for 20% off or $$ discounts. Plus they also just added a points program to reward you for your purchases.

A couple other tips ...
* Those Bed, Bath and Beyond coupons never expire! Hold on to them and use a bunch at one time.
* Many stores will honor competitors coupons, just ask!
* When shopping online, Google that store and add the word "coupon" at the end and you'll be amazed at the deals you can find that way.
* And finally, to keep all these great deals organized so you don't forget about them or lose them in the bottom of your purse (happens to me all the time), get a cheap little photo album that you can slip your coupons in and easily flip through your deals at any given time. I just keep that in my purse so if I'm ever out and about, I'll have all my deals with me!"

Next up is Dana, our green Smarty saver...
"I am trying to cut back this fall especially with the recent state of the economy. Here are some examples we try to follow in our household:
* Shop consignment stores.
* Rent movies on demand for "date night" instead of going out.
* Cook much more at home, less take out.
* We use reusable towels/cloth napkins versus paper towels to save money and trees.
* Use cloth diapers, I spend less on disposable diapers.
* Try to consolidate shopping trips = less pollution, less gas.
* I actually dropped our gym membership because we never go. We have been exercising outside, especially with this incredible weather.
* We are going to make a lot of our Christmas gifts this year and/or pick names. Keeping it simple!
* Reduce consumption of goods= less waste. Ask yourself, do you really need this?
* Shop the farmer's markets.
* Less traveling overall."

Here is Jenny, keeping it simple ...
"I go to Costco with a strict list and do not deviate. I only buy the things that I would buy if I was in Harris Teeter. Otherwise I get spend too much on things I don't need. My list includes baby wipes, Apple Juice, Orange Juice, Waffles, Cereal, Pretzels, Cereal Bars. This way, when I go to grocery store, I just buy fresh foods like meat, fruit and vegetables for the week. It is much less waste and buying things in bulk that are not perishable, allows me to keep my weekly bills down."

Share your Smarty tips! We could all use a little help:-)

Smarties, don't forget to register for our Bonus Giveaway with "Send Out Cards". Everyone wins, so why not sign up? You could save more than $50 in greeting cards. This free offer ends Friday, April 30. Click here for all the details.

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A Tale of a Tantrum

By Guest Blogger Kelly Gunzenhauser


So I thought I was getting off easy when my younger son came along and we were blessed with a child who had the sunniest disposition I have ever seen. He was a content, easy baby. Now, as a two-year-old, he kisses his preschool teachers after they change his diapers and tells everyone who will listen that he loves them. He can get a little feisty with his friends, but he’s usually a piece of cake at home.

By now you are all laughing at me and waiting for the other shoe to drop, and of course it has. My son has hit the tantrum stage. He is not a small kid and he’s strong as an ox, so tantrums are not minor events. Here is a list of some of the things that have set him off: socks too “waggy,” socks at all, shoes at all, getting dressed, wearing a coat, not getting his fingers in the right glove holes, wearing mittens instead, changing his diaper, going to the grocery store, going home from anywhere, getting strapped into his car seat, going to preschool, going to bed, reading only one book at bedtime, getting a bath, getting lotion on his eczema, brushing his teeth, having his fingernails cut, leaving a friend’s house, waking up from a nap, getting too many kisses, being asked what he wants for breakfast, getting the wrong color of cup, and when his brother looks at him.

The “best” tantrum by far was at the grocery store. He wasn’t in the mood for the store. I was of two minds. His tantrum was more whining than anything else—should I risk it? Maybe a cookie once we got inside would help. And, I don’t really like giving in to tantrums. And, I REALLY needed to go to the store! So off we went.

While we were there, he screamed at the absolute top of his lungs the whole time, “Put your stuff back!” He ran from one side of the store to the other and hid. He kicked and screamed every time I picked him up to move him to a new part of the store. He ran away from me and tried to escape out of the door into the parking lot; I only stopped him by grabbing the hood of his jacket. So many people offered help: “Can I get him a balloon? Can I get him a cookie? Can I hold him while you tie him to the cart?” (OK, just kidding about that last one.)

And just as many people came up to me and said, “I have 2 (3, 5, 10) kids and I have been there. It gets better.” (Yes, I know it does. The five-year-old evidence of that is calmly riding in the spaceship grocery cart.) And a few people looked at me like I was the world’s worst mother, you know, shaking their heads in that, “Wow, why can’t you control your child?” sort of way.

As I look back over the list of things that have set him off, I see that many of them are transitions and “have-to-dos.” Kids don’t like to change course until they are ready. The reality is, though, that sometimes we have to do what needs to be done, and I can’t accommodate his timetable. Like right now, while I am trying to finish this up quickly, and he is hanging on me and whining and lying in the floor and kicking. Now he’s telling me, “I don’t like you Mama,” even though the reason he’s mad is because he wants to play a game - with me. He must like me a little bit. Sometimes. But I know that soon, this stage will be over. And with it will go some of the “I love you’s!” and the constant smooching and the crawling in bed with me in the morning when he wakes up at 5:00am. He’ll be more reasonable, but a little more grown up, too.

So what are your favorite tantrum stories? And what are your tips for dealing with them?

* We thought you would enjoy a "post-tantrum" picture of the star of this post, shown at the top of the blog!

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Let's Get Ready to Rumble!

By Rachel H

“Get Offa Me!”
“Stoooooooop it!”
“She’s touching me!”
“He’s bothering me!”
“That’s mine!”

If you are familiar with these phrases, thank goodness because that means I am not alone. If you are not familiar with these phrases, then it means your kids don’t fight and I need you to please offer me some suggestions today!

My children fight like cats and dogs. I have one boy, almost seven, and one girl, almost five. They have fought like this from the moment my daughter could reach out and take things from my son. It is pretty much all day, every day when they are together. Spring Break gave me a reminder of what the summer would entail – long hot days with sweaty, whiny kids, who are hanging on me and fighting with each other. Doesn’t that sound like fun?

I don’t want my summer to be like that! I want us to enjoy each other and have fun-filled days at the beach and swimming pool where my children actually get along. I would love to ride in the car without hearing arguments about why someone is looking at someone else. I would love to sit down to dinner without kids kicking each other under the table. I would love to play a game of Sorry without my children arguing over whether they really moved two spaces or three. Is that too much to ask?

So I am admitting that I have tried and I have failed in the “children not fighting” department. I have tried to intervene. I have tried to ignore. I have tried to stay in the same room in which they are playing in hopes of the fighting not happening as much. I have tried to go in a different room and ignore it. I have tried structured games. I have tried free play and letting them work it out alone. No light at the end of the tunnel quite yet.

The good news is that my children really do love each other so much. They are sad when the other is not around. They stand up for each other around other kids. They give each other hugs and kisses every night. Sometimes I will find my son reading books to his sister as she sits in his lap. They cheer for each other when playing games. So it is definitely not a hatred type of fighting. It is a normal sibling thing where they bicker and taunt daily. I actually think it is Karma for the way my sister and I fought as we were growing up.

I discussed this problem with a friend of mine who also has a boy and a girl, two years apart, who are now 26 and 28. Guess what she told me? They still fight. She told me they just took a family trip to the beach and the two of them taunted each other in the car the whole way, even with their spouses along on the ride!

So do I have any hope? Please say yes. I am so blessed to have these children and I want to do the best I can in raising them to get along. I know there is someone out there who has done a marvelous job of this and I would love to hear suggestions! And of course if your kids are like mine, I’d love to hear about that, too!

Smarties, don't forget TOMORROW is your last day to register for this month's give-away with Whitebox Photography. Just be sure you are a Triad Smarty Pants newsletter subscriber, then click here to enter your name in the giveaway! We will choose a winner through Random.org on April 9, 2010 and will contact you that day!

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What’s Next After Your Child’s Graduation?

By Guest Blogger Donna Fiori

When I was first approached about writing a blog for moms of seniors in high school, I first thought of writing about the whole process of helping your student decide the best direction for them and all that is involved. After much thought, I decided to take a different approach and talk to you about what happens to us, the moms, when our children decide to leave the nest and move on to their next stage in life.

There are numerous resources available to the parents of high school seniors that will enable them to get on the right track for the proceeding years. However, one thing they don’t prepare us for is the day our children actually leave home. We all get that large lump in our throats just thinking about it, watching them walk across the stage on graduation day and then all the preparation for the move day in August.

I recall the commercial of the mom, dad, and son on the day the son left for college. The dad was at the car saying his goodbye and when the son asked where his mom was, the dad told him she was just too upset to come outside, when in reality, she was in the boy’s room measuring for her new hot tub. I truly thought my reaction to my children leaving would be a little similar - and boy was I wrong.

When we moved my son to college, my mother had to literally drag me out of his dorm room to get me out of there. I truly struggled with him not being around the house and not knowing his everyday life as I did when he was home. However, I still had one child five years younger that needed my attention and this helped keep me preoccupied.

Now, with the last one leaving, it was very different. The whole senior year and following summer is so full of events, shopping, to-do lists, etc., that the day truly does creep up on you. Before you know it, there you are standing in the dorm room again, trying to muster up the courage to say good-bye without the river of tears flowing! Be strong, as the ol’ saying goes! Then you get home - no car in the driveway. Their room - very neat, tidy and empty of their “stuff.” The house is so quiet you can even hear it squeak! Thankfully, with technology like webcams, texting and email, we can stay in touch with our children much better than the days of having one telephone for each floor of the dorm. Goodness that dates me!!

This brings us to the true question: Now what? For the past 20 plus years I have been mom first, no matter if I was working outside the home or not. That has truly been my daily life and I always made sure my family’s needs were met first. The idea of thinking about my needs and doing something for me seemed so foreign. I am not saying I never had the opportunity or take advantage of any outside activities other than my family but they were limited. I would rather choose to have dinner with my family on those few nights a week than do something for myself. The thought of all these new options just made me stop in my tracks and gave me the realization that “Yes, it IS time to think about me.” Actually, it’s way past that time. Although, who are we kidding? We never do this until now and even then, many of us still don’t!

I know that my job as mom is nowhere near complete. I still have lots of work to do for many years, yet I now have the opportunity to add something new to my life. What in the world could that possibly be? Many of the hobbies I had years ago were dropped due to the lack of time. Now, with less laundry, fewer games and events to attend, and only cooking for two, I think I can do this ... but what? To my surprise, having the whole buffet to choose from actually made it difficult to decide what I really wanted to do. For those of you that saw the movie “Fried Green Tomatoes,” I had moments of power and found myself almost shouting "TA-WANDA”!

It has been a few months now and I am still searching. I am trying out new things, new groups, and so far I am enjoying them. I now have more time to volunteer for new organizations, and different exercise classes, just to name a few. The list is still growing with other things to try and it is a work in progress. My suggestion to you moms of seniors: Don’t let this catch you off guard as it did me. It is never too early to start your search for that special interest that could be out there waiting for you to discover. Have fun in your adventure for those new hobbies and new friends. Best wishes and “TA-WANDA” to you all!!

Are you getting ready to send a child to college this coming fall? Or are you getting ready to be an empty-nester? Chime in and tell us how you are working through this big change in your life!

If you are unsure how to leave a comment below, click here to find out the simple steps!

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Bus Riding Blues

By Katie M

It was only one year ago that I swore I would never put my child on a school bus. Then came the sale of our house and the purchase of a new one. And with the new house came a great school zone, the convenience of a bus stop steps from our home, the freedom from early morning drives (and pick-ups during my son’s nap time), and one very excited little Kindergartner. So, I caved. And I have to admit, it’s been a really nice perk to have what is practically a door-to-door service at my disposal for free.

Yet, I still can’t completely ignore the concerns (see list below) I had just months ago. That coupled with comments from other parents who also swore against the bus. They have said things like, “I can’t believe you’re letting her take the bus. I remember what it was like when I rode the bus, and I don’t want my child exposed to that.” And not to mention some of the things I’ve heard my daughter recite and repeat since being a bus-rider. The worst of which was questioning the existence of Santa Claus! So, does the convenience of this free bus service come with a cost, or am I being crazy?

So here were my reasons for not ever wanting my child to ride a bus:

1.) There are no seat belts. Wearing a seat belt is a basic “rule” in our car that we worked hard to establish and have no exceptions for. Needless to say explaining the lack of seat belts on the bus was not an easy conversation.

2.) My mother’s fear which has been my inherited fear since giving birth. See my past blog on How To Talk to Your Kids About Talking to Strangers.

3.) The occasional news reports of bus accidents. Yea, lots of times they are minor accidents that happen due to very rare circumstances and usually happen somewhere far, far away. But still, they are impossible to ignore and forget.

4.) The conversations you can’t control. Everyone knows lots of things are learned on the bus! I honestly think my first discussion on the “birds and bees” happened on my elementary school bus, and the fact that my five-year-old questioned Santa Claus after just one month on riding the bus did not sit well with me.

5.) The bullies in the back of the bus. They were there when I rode the bus (mainly in middle school) and I know they are still around. They may be a different kind of bully from when I went to school, but they still exist. Thankfully my child is young enough that she doesn’t even consider sitting anywhere but right behind the bus driver. Ok, and I also might have hinted that the “cool” kids sit in the front. So, maybe I'm raising a geek, but at least she’s she'll be a safe, protected geek!

All that being said, I recognize that millions of children ride the bus every day and school systems take every measure possible to keep our kids safe. And like I said earlier, my daughter is thrilled to be a “bus rider” and I’m excited about the many friendships she has already developed because of her bus stop and bus rides. I rode the bus for 10 years straight (Kindergarten – 10th grade) and some of my funniest memories from school happened either on the bus or at the bus stop. I feel like it’s a “rite of passage” every school age child should get to experience at least at some point. So, despite my concerns outlined above, we will continue to use the bus service (maybe not every day, but often anyway) and I’ll continue to keep my fingers crossed that all goes well.

Is your child a “bus rider”? Why, or why not? Do you share the same concerns? Or better yet, what can you add to this post to support my bus riding decision?

If you are unsure how to leave a comment below, click here to find out the simple steps!

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Trouble at School?

By Rachel H

We are over halfway through the traditional school year. This is the time of year where many new problems begin to arise at school. From preschool, all the way through highschool, each of us has a child experiencing something different for the first time. Triad Smarty Pants is here to help and give some advice on how to handle some of the common problems your child may be experiencing.

One of the most common is educational concerns. The first quarter of school is a lot of review. By the time second quarter ends, most schools have conferences and parents are made aware of any problems or concerns in their child’s education. If your child is struggling academically, I think the best thing you can offer them is one-on-one instruction. This instruction may come from you, as a parent. You can help them build on the schools taught at school, or simply assist them with homework when they may be having trouble. You may also choose to give one-on-one time through a tutor. There are many agencies in the Triad that come well recommended. One of our favorites is Education Resource Group. You can read more about them here.

You also may choose to hire a private tutor. You can often find recommendations by asking your school’s Counselor or Curriculum Coordinator. If you have a degree in education and offer private tutoring, please add your information in the comments section below.

You can also help your child by building skills through games. Check out this blog, with educational game suggestions for all ages.

Other areas where TSP has some advice:

If you and/or your child’s teacher have serious concerns about your child’s education, check out Triad Academy. Their instructional program is highly individualized, research based, and designed to meet the learning needs of students with dyslexia and related language based learning.

Other schools in the Triad who offer education to children who may need individualized learning experiences are mentioned here.

What about something as simple as homework? Is it a constant source of anxiety in your home? Find out here where you should and should not step in!

Is your child being bullied? Maybe he/she is a bullier themselves. Read this fantastic blog by a local school counselor on this exact topic and what you can do as a parent to help.

If your child is in public school, chances are that they are starting to discuss the EOG Test on a daily basis. I wrote this blog last year on how to help your child prepare for this test.

Check out our Categories on the left side of our website. You may find related topics of interest under your child's age range, or under another heading such as "Education", "Raising Children", "Preschool", "Middle School", "Elementary", or "High School".

What are some other problems your child is encountering at school? Is there a specific topic that you would like a TSP Team member, local pediatrician or local counselor to write about? Let us know by commenting below. We hope today's post has directed you to some blogs that you may have read before, but now may actually be able to put to good use!

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Top Ten Favorite Blogs of 2009

By Rachel H

Welcome to 2010!

Triad Smarty Pants had a fabulous past year where we grew from just a handful of loyal readers to a large community of Triad moms and dads who tune in daily to read blogs, leave comments, nominate Smarty Moms, and guest blog for us! We have thoroughly enjoyed sharing all the wonderful family events in the Triad, as well as Day Trips, best restaurants, great gift shops, great birthday party ideas, and super smarty sales! We've shared info on education, health, food choices, and eco-friendly ways of life. We've profiled moms and dads throughout the Triad who our readers think have that extra spark that makes them truly smarty! And of course we've shared our own humorous stories, mommy concerns and mommy advice on just about anything.

Thanks to all of you who voted for your favorite, most entertaining, and most helpful blogs from the past year. Our results are listed in order below. Be sure to click on the title to read the blogs for yourself. All our blogs are archived on the site, so scroll down to our Categories List on the left side of the page to find anything and everything for which you might be searching.

Now on with the results ...

The Top Ten Blogs of 2009
1. Best Kept Secrets of the Triad
2. Kids Eat Free and Almost Free
3. Is it Just Me? Part 1 and Part 2
4. Day Trips Category
5. Birthday Party Directory
6. Favorite Parks in Greensboro, High Point and Winston Salem
7. How Old Is Too Old
8. Why I Homeschool
9. Remembering Lillie and Helping Others
10. Going Out to Eat Without Breaking the Bank

Thanks again for voting! Do you have a great idea for a blog for 2010? Email us at triadsmartypants@gmail.com to give us your idea, or even appear as a guest blogger on our site. We are a community and thrive on input, advice, and blogs from our readers!

Best wishes to all in 2010!

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Bullying – It’s not what it used to be

By Guest Blogger
Michelle Bostian, LCSW
Lower School Counselor for Greensboro Day School


Bullying today is just not what it used to be ... We are always hearing that these days. “Well, when I was a kid we had to walk to school in the snow!” The same applies to bullying. It is not the tyranny of the big mean boy who steals lunch money. It’s the otherwise sweet girl that shares her candy with all the girls she likes in front of that one girl that she doesn’t. It’s the special clubs and exclusionary occurrences on the playground day after day. Sure, there are still instances of name calling and deliberate tripping. But now there are obvious and malicious emails intended to haunt and dominate. Today, the bullying we need to target and prevent with our children is the subtle, the covert and the as yet, uncensored.

Bullying prevention could be called something friendlier like “friendship skills”. Or it could be called something really basic, like “empathy”. Bottom line, the emotional impact from any type of bullying is the same. The psychological scarring implicit with this behavior is well known to be a common underlying factor in a child’s history who later commits acts of violence or other socially unacceptable behavior.

So here’s the deal. All kids can be bullies, or “wear the bully hat” as author Trudy Ludwig puts it when she travels the US and talks with school age kids about bullying. When someone hurts someone else, dominates them in some way, and they know it is hurting the other person, that is bullying. Plain and simple. It’s the group of girls at lunch who scooch over and fill up the empty space when your daughter comes to sit down. Then they quickly adjust to allow the girl behind her space to sit at their table. Bullying is when your son tells you he and his friends did sit ups in a goofy way just like “that weird boy”, and everyone laughed.

You know it when you hear it. As a parent you likely get that feeling in the pit of your stomach that you just ache for your child. You want to go grab that kid in the library and set a few things straight. You want to give that kid a piece of your mind, let her know that she can’t treat your kid that way and get away with it. But you can’t. When you intervene like this as a parent you render your child powerless and at greater risk of being victimized again.

The more powerful thing to do is to empower your kids. Equip them with the problem solving skills to assert themselves. Role play with your kids. They need to practice the skills to create those pathways in their brains. They need to practice until it is as automatic as “stop, drop and roll”. Please don’t tell them to ignore it. Every kid who has ever come to talk to me about this stuff has already tried that. Teach kids first to say, “Stop”. They also need skills like walking away, changing the subject and saying something ridiculously funny. Explain the difference between telling and tattling. Tattling is to get someone else in trouble: “He took two cookies instead of one”. Telling is to protect someone from getting hurt on the inside or on the outside: “She calls me Fatty Patty every day at recess and now two other girls call me that too.”

Books your children can read to help build the skills and social resilience they need to succeed are listed at the end of this article. There are lots of books you can read, too. Equally important, there are things you can do each and every day to reduce your child’s likelihood that they will be bullied or that they will bully. It boils down to empathy. Teach them to think about their feelings and the feelings of others. Teach them that their behavior has an impact on the feelings of others. Model this type of behavior at home through simple things like sharing your “lows and highs” each day. This gives kids a tool for talking about their feelings. And it gives adults a tool as well.

In our family, on the nights we sit down together for dinner, we share our lows and highs. One person starts with “My low is that Caitlyn broke my favorite pencil today. My high is that we had ice cream after school.” Each person has a turn, even parents. It’s important for parents to let kids know that not only do they have feelings, but that sometimes relationships have difficult elements. It might go something like this: “My low is that I had an argument with a friend today and I feel sad about that. My high is that we had a good talk at lunch and we worked it out.” You don’t need to share more about the disagreement. Just share that you have them and that they don’t feel good and that you DO work them out.

Last, be sure your school has an empathy building curriculum. (At Greensboro Day School we use a program called Second Step.) Ask your school how they build a child’s empathy, perspective taking and problem solving skills. These are the skills to success. Not just emotional success, but educational success as well. When kids are not preoccupied by their social world around them they are much more focused on their school work. And guess what? They are also more inclined to follow directions at home when they are not ruminating about social drama at school!

Books for adults:
*Faber, Adele and Mazlish, Elaine. Siblings Without Rivalry
*Rubin, Kenneth and Thompson, Andrea. The Friendship Factor: Helping Our Children Navigate Their Social World – And Why it Matters to their Success and Happiness
*Sheras, Peter. Your Child: Bully or Victim? Understanding and Ending School Yard Tyranny

Websites:
http://www.bullying.org/
http://www.operationrespect.com/

Books for Kids:
Burnett, Karen Gedig. Simon’s Hook; A story About Teases and Putdowns
Cohen-Posey, Kate. How to Handle Bullies, Teaser and Other Meanies: A Book That Takes the Nuisance Out of Name Calling and Other Nonsense
Crosby, Bill. The Meanest Thing to Say
Lester, Helen. Hooway for Wodney
Ludwig, Trudy. My Secret Bully
Ludwig, Trudy. Just Kidding
Ludwig, Trudy. Sorry
Moss, Peggy. Say Something
Munson, Derek. Enemy Pie
Polacco, Patricia. Mr. Lincoln’s Way

Michelle is a counselor at Greensboro Day School and has a private practice. I want to thank her for this very informative article today. I have made the mistake of telling my children to “ignore it” many times, so I was relieved to read the alternatives she suggested above. I already Googled a few of her suggested reading materials and they can easily be found on Amazon, as well as our local book stores such as Borders and Barnes and Noble.

If you have a child in Middle School, be sure to read our blog on Athena’s Path & Hero's Pursuit, which is another great example of what Michelle discussed above as an empathy building program. - Rachel H

You have until Noon today to register for this month's giveaway! You may be the lucky winner of a $50 gift card to Emma Jane's Children's Specialty Shoppe! Their clothing, furniture, toys and accessories are high quality and unique! Good luck!

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How Old Is Too Old?

By Rachel H

My first child was a boy, so since he was born, I have always taken him into the Ladies’ Restroom with me when we are out in public. He just turned six, and I guess I got so used to doing this that it never really crossed my mind that there will come a point when he needs to go into the Men’s Room alone. My family went out for dinner a few months ago, and when I got up to use the restroom my son said he had to go as well, so we trotted off together to the ladies room. When we got back my husband immediately said, “You can’t do that anymore! He is way too old to be in there with you!” For the first time I had to stop and think, “How old is too old?”

When I told Katie I wanted to write about this, her first response was, “I have to tell you the truth … it creeps me out to see six-year-old boys in the women’s bathroom.” But then I told her my side and explained that my fear is sending him in to the Men’s bathroom alone and running into the psychopath who is just sitting there waiting for an innocent little boy to waltz in! She said she’d never thought about that since her son is still small enough to accompany her and no one really notices. Do I think Mr. Creepy Man is waiting in the restroom at a fine dining restaurant? Probably not … but, when we are at the park or the mall, I truly do have that fear. I have heard stories of men exposing themselves to young boys in the bathrooms and it scares me to death.

I am pretty far from being an over-protective mom, and sometimes I think I have raised my kids to almost be TOO independent, but this is one situation where I really need help. I am guessing I just need to start standing next to the bathroom door and sending my son in to use the restroom as quickly as possible. I don’t know what other option I have. So please share! When did you start letting your son use the Men’s Restroom without an adult?

Now this leads me to many other questions where I wonder “How old is too old?” I am going to preface this now by saying that some of these questions can get very touchy and I know some readers will get very opinionated about them. So please keep your comments nice and respect the views of others. After all, some of us really do have justifiable reasons behind why we do things! This also goes for children who have special needs. There are often times where they may need extra help and should not be judged.

How old is too old to …

Bathe with a sibling of the opposite sex?
See their parents nude?
Need help getting dressed?
Watch Barney?
Breastfeed?
Be rocked to sleep?
Wear longalls and shortalls?
Wear smocked clothes?
Use a pacifier?
Be walked into their classroom by mom or dad?
Ride in a stroller?
Have their parents cut up their food?
Trick or treat?
Still take a bath instead of a shower?
Still be wearing diapers?

Lots of thought provoking questions here, folks! So, weigh in with your answers and let us know !

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Why I Homeschool

By Guest Blogger Ellen Dockham

When people find out I homeschool my two kids, ages 9 and 12, I get a variety of reactions, many of which can be summed up in the comment, “I could NEVER do that.” Occasionally, though, someone will say they admire homeschooling and would like to know how I reached that decision.

It’s hard to answer that question quickly, so I’m thrilled to share my thoughts in more depth on Triad Smarty Pants. In my first seven years of parenting, I went from never having heard of homeschooling to thinking it was a terrible idea to embracing it as a lifestyle choice full of blessings. For us, the idea popped up after our happy-go-lucky, school-loving daughter suddenly started having daily stomachaches and crying fits in the second grade. We discovered a number of negative things going on in her classroom, both socially and academically. We began searching for a solution, and God began relentlessly putting the idea of homeschooling before us.

After months of prayer and research, we went from merely reacting to a negative set of circumstances to proactively planning our children’s education at home. From that first hesitant, stumbling decision to try it for a year has come a sincere conviction that homeschooling is a wonderful educational option that we are committed to continuing through high school graduation. Why? Because we love the individualized academics, the family togetherness, the flexibility, the evenings and weekends free from homework, the meaningful friendships, and the curious, independent learners we are developing.

My Top 5 Fears and How They Turned Out to be False:

*My children will be weird! Socialization, I think, is the No. 1 objection to homeschooling. After five years, I’ve decided socialization is one of the main reasons TO homeschool. Being socialized means being able to get along well in society, and I’m confident I know more about that than a pack of kids their age. Nowhere else in society are people confined to an age-segregated group. My children constantly interact with all ages, and they experience real-life situations with me daily. Plus, if children can learn to get along with their siblings, they can get along with anyone!

Homeschooling actually offers more time for meaningful friendships. When you work one-on-one with your students – and don’t have to schedule time for things like passing out papers and lining up for the bathroom – it’s possible to finish elementary academic work by lunchtime. That leaves early afternoons for extracurricular activities – many places offer reduced-price classes and sports practices for homeschoolers who are available before public school gets out – and for visiting with friends.

Speaking of friends, there are so many homeschoolers in North Carolina that they would make up the third largest school district in the state if put all together! In the 2008-09 school year, the N.C. Division of Non-Public Education reported the highest number of homeschools on record in the state: 41, 042. The NCDNPE estimates about 77,000 students were homeschooled last year in North Carolina. http://www.ncdnpe.org/documents/hhh234.pdf

There are more homeschool classes, co-ops, field trips, play dates, enrichment activities, sports teams, book clubs, etc. in the Triad than you could ever do in one school year. So there are plenty of chances to make friends, have group discussions, come under the authority and tutelage of other teachers, and just plain have fun. And, of course, homeschoolers participate in the same activities as other kids, from neighborhood play to youth groups to Scouts to sports.

*I’ll be weird! Well maybe this one is debatable, but seriously, at first I was afraid to tell my friends that I was going to homeschool. I also feared that I would be isolating myself at home. I have found, to my delight, a wonderful group of diverse yet like-minded mothers who have become the best friends I’ve ever had. There’s something uniquely bonding about sharing the homeschooling journey, and my social life is richer now than ever. I especially love the whole-family friendships we’ve formed.

*I’ll kill them before it’s over! I used to count the days until school started again each summer. There are still days, I admit, when I fantasize about putting them on that big yellow bus. But I’ve come to love sharing moments with them that I never had when the best hours of their day were given to the school and all I got was the grumpy leftovers! I will never forget the moment when reading clicked for my son after months of laborious sounding out of every single word. My daughter and I have had discussions of favorite classics that I wouldn’t trade for any of those pre-homeschooling days that I had to myself.

Many people comment that their kids would never listen to them enough to actually learn anything. Oh yes, I know about that! I can promise you I’m not any more patient than the next mom. I know my kids act with me in ways they never would in public. But I also believe that true obedience means obeying mom and dad, not just looking good for a teacher. If we have to spend time working on that, it’s time just as well-spent as working math problems. It’s hard -- really hard -- but it’s worth it.

*They won’t learn the right stuff. They’ll never get into college! This one still haunts me occasionally, but I think it’s because there is no one answer to what the “right” stuff is! Do you have gaps in your education? Yes, and so do I! What I want for my kids educationally is to give them the tools to learn anything they need or want to for the rest of their lives. I was a straight-A student all the way, and I am appalled at how little I remember. My kids are learning using the classical model, which gives them memory pegs while their young brains are wired to soak up facts and then teaches them to use those facts to ask intelligent questions as young teens and finally to speak and write effectively as high-schoolers. We use very few textbooks outside of math but instead flesh out our topics with “living” books. It’s a wonderfully rich way to learn; my husband has commented that he wishes he could come to our school!

A major benefit is the ability to move at the individual child’s pace. If something’s not clicking, you don’t move on; if it’s easy, you fly ahead. You can also customize topics to capitalize on your child’s interests.

As for higher education, most universities have years of experience with homeschool applications, and many even seek out homeschoolers who are known to be independent learners. Studies have shown that many homeschoolers outperform their public school counterparts on standardized tests. (Reference: http://www.hslda.org/docs/nche/000010/200410250.asp)

*I’m not smart enough to teach my kids, especially when they reach high school! I’ve learned more working with my kids than I did in college. Math, once my nemesis, now is not only doable but also fun! I’m learning with my kids, which means I’ll be ready when they get to the hard stuff. And if I need help, the Triad offers a wealth of tutors, co-ops and community college classes for high-schoolers. Forsyth Country Day School even offers classes for homeschoolers in tough subjects like Algebra and Chemistry.

I truly believe homeschooling is a fabulous educational option than can work for many families in many sets of circumstances. If you want to find out more, here are some resources:

So You’re Thinking About Homeschooling by Lisa Whelchel
A Thomas Jefferson Education by Oliver Van DeMille
You Can Teach Your Child Successfully by Ruth Beechick
The Heart of Homeschooling by Christopher Klicka
A Different Kind of Teacher by John Taylor Gatto

Do you homeschool? If so or if not, share your experiences and thoughts with us!

Don't forget to register for your chance to win one Floor Nanny with a complimentary slip cover of your choice! All you have to do is click here to take a short survey and you’re registered. You must be a Triad Smarty Pants newsletter subscriber to enter, so be sure to sign up if you have yet to do so. This promotion ends at Noon on Thursday, August 13, and the winner will be announced on Sunday, August 16. Good luck!!

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Playing: It’s Not for Kids Anymore

By Rachel H and Guest Blogger Dr. Satterwhite

Over a year ago I received an email from our pediatrician with an article about children and playtime. I could not believe how much I loved this article when I read it. I immediately showed it to my husband who read it and said, “Dr. Satterwhite rocks.” So I saved the email having no idea that a year later I’d be part of a local mommy website where I would be able to share this with so many of you. If you are a patient at Twin City Pediatrics , chances are that you also received the email. I am sure you’ll appreciate reading this article again!

A little background on our pediatrician, William M. Satterwhite III, JD, MD: He grew up in Winston-Salem and practiced law in Charlotte for five years before changing careers and entering medical school! He completed Medical School at Wake Forest School of Medicine and completed his residency at WFU/Baptist Medical Center. He is Board Certified in Pediatrics. He has four children, two boys and two girls, ranging in ages from 4th grade to a sophomore in college – all of whom bring him great joy. Thank you to Dr. Satterwhite for sharing this with all of our Triad Smarty Pants readers! - RH

One of my deepest sorrows has been the gradual erosion of true "play" for children in the 21st century. I was reminded of this last month when I heard a report on National Public Radio (NPR) about the value of creative, imaginative play for children. According to the report entitled, "Old-Fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills," researchers have found that over the last 50 years "playing" for children has moved from make-believe games ("Let's play pretend!") and make-believe toys (using a stick for a gun, for instance) to scheduled 'adult-like' activities (soccer, karate, dance, etc...) and toys that serve a highly particular function (guns that are noise-making lasers or dolls that talk).

Studies indicate that playing make-believe actually helps children develop a critical cognitive skill known as 'executive function.' Executive function includes the ability to plan things out, to self-regulate emotions and behaviors, and to resist impulses. Not only is poor self-regulation and executive function associated with high drop-out rates, drug use and crime, but these qualities are also better predictors of success in school than a child's IQ.

Research supports that children cannot 'attend' to something or self-regulate like they used to be able to do. Here is an excerpt from the article found at NPR:

We know that children's capacity for self-regulation has diminished. A recent study replicated a study of self-regulation first done in the late 1940s, in which psychological researchers asked kids ages 3, 5 and 7 to do a number of exercises. One of those exercises included standing perfectly still without moving. The 3-year-olds couldn't stand still at all, the 5-year-olds could do it for about three minutes, and the 7-year-olds could stand pretty much as long as the researchers asked. In 2001, researchers repeated this experiment. But, psychologist Elena Bodrova at Mid-Continent Research for Education and Learning says, the results were very different.

"Today's 5-year-olds were acting at the level of 3-year-olds 60 years ago, and today's 7-year-olds were barely approaching the level of a 5-year-old 60 years ago," Bodrova explains. "So the results were very sad."

I worry about how rarely children are allowed to be bored and, thus, be forced to think of something to do, without that activity being watching TV or playing on the computer or a video game. When our oldest children, who are now 18 and 20 years old, were little and either fighting or tugging on us saying, "I'm bored," I would put them in time out until they "thought of something acceptable to me to do." It was amazing how quickly they said, "Let's go outside and play," or "I think I'll go read."

It is unfortunate how our children's world has changed. No longer is it seen as safe to send kids outside to play unsupervised or to let them ride their bikes to the playground without an adult present. Instead, everything is adult-monitored. Seldom do kids play pick-up sports/games in the back yard, changing the rules to make the teams fair and, thus, the game fun, and allowing them to work out their own conflicts (Was the ball really out? Did she really get tagged? Should we change the teams to make it more even?) Instead, we pay money (often > $1,000) and sign them up for sports and leagues where we press adult rules – complete with paid officials -- down upon them, and then we WATCH their every play, see their every mistake, and even yell 'advice' at them from the sidelines. Even the time when imagination (or reading or singing) was all one had on long car trips, now these times are filled with watching a DVD in the mini-van. When do our children learn to think?

What can a parent do? The single most important thing is to LIMIT television, videos, and computer use to a minimum, especially during the week. In our house, we have had a rule that there is "no TV during the week." The same is true for video games. Once the children get older, say high school, you can relax that a little, if they are doing well in school and aren't excessively using media. When people ask me, "Bill, what is the most important thing I can do to have good kids?" My answer for years has been: "Don't let your kids watch much TV (computer, video) and read to them a lot." That is the first thing. The second thing is to encourage free play. Let your kids have lots of "un-programmed, unscheduled" time to play. Send them outside when they are bored and DON'T let them come back in for at least one hour, even if they are whining that "there's nothing to do out here." Aren't there trees to climb or hide behind? Aren't there sticks that can be all kinds of things? Aren't there bugs on the ground to investigate? Aren't there grass and acorns to mix into a stew?

Encourage group free play. Instead of all these parents gathering to watch their kids play an organized soccer game on Saturday morning, meet those same parents and kids on the field and let the kids establish their own rules and teams and play Capture the Flag, while the parents visit with each other and DON'T watch off to the side. Better yet, have all but two parents leave the field, and then have parents take turns each week as the "field parent," if safety for the kids is a concern.

I am as guilty as the next parent at violating all the advice I've written above. At different times in the past year our nine-year-old daughter, Anne, will say something like, "No. I don't want to do that this week, because Thursday is my only free day." How awful! A fourth grader only has one 'free day' during the week to play, to imagine, to be a child!

Well, as you can see, I could go on and on about our society (and myself) and how we are suffocating childhood. Paradoxically, we hurry kids on toward adulthood, believing that this makes them into better adults, when in reality the opposite is true: let them be children longer, particularly in their play, and they will become better adults! Once again, I apologize for the length of this little article; the lawyer in me always gets wordy! Here is the link to NPR. If you go to it and Search for the following titles, you can read a short article on the topic, or listen to the seven-minute radio program:

Old-Fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills
Q & A: The Best Kind of Play

Thanks for listening!
Dr. Bill

And thanks, Dr. Bill, for all your Smarty advice! Please share your thoughts and comments below!

Remember Smarties, don't forget to register for our Mother of All Mother's Day Give-Aways! This promotion - worth $1,250 of all things wonderful for moms - ends at 11 pm on Friday, May 8. The winner will be announced on Mother's Day. To recap, we are giving away a $250 package from UpperCase Photography, along with 10 $100 gift certificates to the following FABULOUS Triad businesses: Dream Dinners, Emerywood Fine Foods, GoosiePie Monograms, Simply Sterling & Company, Nitsa’s Apparel (including Fashionista), Kim Taylor & Co., Young Chefs Academy, Emma Jane's Baby & Kids Specialty Shoppe, Balance Day Spa, and The Carriage House Restaurant!!

To register to win ALL of this, please click here to complete a short survey, and you’ll be registered. Good luck, Smarties!!

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May Smarty Giveaway: $1250 of Mom's Favorite Things

By Rachel H

Let the Smarty Swag Fest in the Triad begin! In honor of our favorite holiday - Mothers’ Day - we’ve joined in with our Charlotte Smarty Pants friends to create what we are all calling the Mother of All Mothers' Day Giveaways. Initially our goal was to create a Mothers' Day package worth $1,000 for one lucky mom. Well, Smarties, you’re in for more luck. Our package is now worth $1,250 – chock full of gift certificates to 11 of our favorite businesses around the Triad – everything from designer clothes to spa treatments to jewelry to fine foods, and more! And yes, ONE very lucky Triad Smarty Pants newsletter subscriber will win this package. Oh, don’t you just love Mothers' Day?

PLEASE NOTE: If you are a newsletter subscriber, that does not mean you are automatically registered for our giveaways. You must register for each individual giveaway. So first, make sure you are a newsletter subscriber, and secondly, register for this particular giveaway by clicking the link at the bottom of this post.

Let’s take a look at the wonderful assortment of gift certificates all waiting for one lucky mom who could be you!

So what do moms love?

No cooking!
Dream Dinners of Clemmons has graciously donated $100 worth of meals to our winner. If you have not yet tried this place, you are missing out! I met a group of women there one night and we socialized while we prepared 36 servings of meals for our families! Everything was pre-cut, and all the spices and fixings we needed were right there. We chose the recipes that we liked best and simply followed the instructions at each station. In less than two hours, we were packing up our dinners and heading out the door. It was so nice to have all these meals prepared in my freezer. All I had to do was thaw and cook. Nice! One more thing that makes the deal even sweeter, if you book your order, and don't have time to come in and assemble the meals yourself, Dream Dinners will assemble your complete order for just $10 and you can then stop by and pick them up!

Date Nights!
Emerywood Fine Foods of High Point is the perfect place for you and your special someone to enjoy an evening out. The atmosphere inside this restaurant is so relaxing. The entrees are delicious! I must recommend the crab cakes! I also had lunch here with my kids and we sat outside on the garden patio, which is surrounded by all types of flowers, and is just gorgeous. The waitress could not have been better trying to accommodate my picky eater. I must have spent ten minutes trying to decide which of the wraps I wanted that day. They all sounded delicious. Emerywood also offers on and off-site catering. Take a look at their menu and I am sure you’ll be headed there soon! Our lucky winner will receive a $100 gift card to use as they wish!

Personalization!
GoosiePie Monograms was started by Candler Cox, a Winston-Salem native. She is now living in Raleigh, and after six years as a stay-at-home mom, she began embellishing clothes and making items for her three daughters. She quickly realized this was a passion of hers, which gave her the idea for her new business. GoosiePie Monograms is your source for personalized gifts! They specialize in unique, high-quality gifts for any one on your list! I have easily been able to find wonderful gifts for baby showers, birthdays and graduations. They always have the perfect gift for you to give. When you see these adorable gifts on the website, you will be even more excited to see that personalization is always included in the price! One lucky mom will receive $100 to use as she likes!

Jewelry & Accessories!
Simply Sterling & Company is more than just your favorite jewelry store; it is a twelve year shopping tradition for Winston-Salem and surrounding communities. Lea Church Brendle; founder, owner, mother of five and designer takes great pride in creating a wonderful shopping environment chock full of sterling silver jewelry lines such as Chamilia, Waxing Poetic and Island Cowgirl; specialty clothing lines from Three Sisters, Ivy Jane and Virginia Taylor along with an incredible shoe line called Alegria that she just won an award from for being the top specialty store in North America! And that’s not all…they also carry the sought after Hobo, Tusk and JPK Paris 75 Handbags. At Simply Sterling & Company you are always in for a pleasant shopping experience and are sure to have no problem spending your $100. Easily found in Thruway Center behind Bonefish Grill. 336-896-0077

Portraits of your loved ones!
Uppercase Photography is run by Julie Wagoner, who specializes in maternity, newborn, children, teens, and families. She serves the Triad area from her studio and on location. Julie draws on her experiences as a mother of three small children and a former teacher, as she strives to truly connect with each child during a session. The results are beautiful portraits of your children with a wide range of natural expressions. After the session, Julie presents you with a gorgeous set of specially prepared images in both print and an online gallery--the best of both worlds! She will then help you turn your portraits into stunning art for your home with prints, canvases, and specialty items. As a mother, Julie knows that each moment of childhood is fleeting, from the curl of your newborn's toes, the scrunchy nose of your toddler, the missing teeth of your big kid to the budding freedom of your teenager ready to take on the world. The gift certificate included in this giveaway includes a session with Uppercase Photography, a $100 print credit, and an 11x14 mounted image of her choice, all valued at $250.

Fabulous Fashions!
Nitsa’s Apparel was started in 1964 by Nitsa Bambalis over Recreation Billiards in downtown Winston-Salem with a focus on custom-made clothing and professional alterations (they still do alterations today). Today, Nitsa’s is known for its casual sportswear, cute dresses and great eveningwear. They also happen to be one of the top bridal salons in the country featuring Monique Lhuillier and Vera Wang to name just a couple. Yes, their formal attire is impressive but, they have a great selection of fashions to wear around town or out for the night. And if you’re looking for something more contemporary, checkout some of the fresh, fun looks in Fashionista, Nitsa’s contemporary “shop-in-shop.” Oh yea, did I mention, the prices in Fashionista are pretty friendly as well. Together, the two stores take up more than 10,000 square feet of space, which means you’ll have to go there to take it all in. Our lucky winner will receive a $100 gift certificate to use as they please.

Unique Gifts!
Kim Taylor & Co. is one of my favorite places to shop for gifts! I have a few friends on my birthday list who are the "women who have everything" and Kim Taylor & Co is the perfect place for me to find a unique gift. This shop carries Crane stationary, Vietri china, Toss Luggage, Lolita gifts, and Main St. & Co personalized gifts, just to name a few of my favorites. I bought the best candle ever here, too! Red Currant by Votivo - it is awesome! I have also been able to find adorable baby gifts here. Mud Pie Babies and Taggies are their two best-selling brands. Kim Taylor is also an interior designer, and you will be able to see her beautiful sense of style when you enter the shop. Our lucky giveaway winner will have no idea where to spend her $100, because everything in here is just what a mom wants! Stop by 153 S Stratford Rd, Winston Salem, NC 27104, or call 722-8503.

Fun Ideas for the Children!
Young Chefs Academy … Young Chefs® Academy is a cooking School for Kids Ages 3-17. They are the only cooking school in the Triad specializing in teaching children how to cook!! What a wonderful opportunity to introduce your children to cooking and teach them a life skill they will use for the rest of their lives! They offer many options, including Spring, Summer & Holiday Mini Camps, School Field Trips, Girl and Boy Scout Field Trips, Homeschool Classes, MasterChefs℠ Program, Preschooler Cooking Classes, and of course Birthday Parties! Another plus is that they offer weekly cooking classes in the afternoons, which is a perfect activity after a tough day at school for our kiddos! Our winner will receive a $100 gift card to use toward any of the above at the Winston-Salem location. Call 336-774-9905 or email winstonsalemnc@youngchefsacademy.com for more info.

Fashion and Accessories for the Children!
Emma Jane's Baby & Kids Specialty Shoppe is a family owned business located in South Side Square in Kernersville, so it is an easy drive from most anywhere in the Triad. This is the cutest children’s boutique that has everything you need for your little ones! They have beautiful lines of children’s furniture, baby & children’s clothing, collectible Lee Middleton Dolls, toys, baby jewelry and more shoes than you can imagine! Some of my favorite brands of shoes they carry are Puddle Jumpers, Pedipeds, Pip Squeaks, Riley Roo, and of course, Robeez. Right now there is a great selection of swimwear as well. An extra perk is that there is a train table, huge stuffed animals, and a foam hop scotch set to keep the kids entertained while you shop. If you sign their address book, they will send you a $10 off coupon on your child’s birthday, too. Our winner will enjoy a $100 shopping spree at Emma Jane’s!

Luxurious Spa Treatments!
Balance Day Spa has been serving the Triad since 1996 and has three convenient locations in Greensboro (574.2556), Kernersville (993.0303), and Burlington (482.3200). They are the largest true day spa in the area and are open 7 days a week. They have a board certified, professional & knowledgeable staff, and a clean, relaxing environment. Just walking in the door makes my heart rate slow down because it is so calming! Their traditional services include natural nail care, massage therapy, skin care, and waxing services. I have had three different massage therapists when I have visited the spa, and would recommend every one of them! I would also highly recommend the pre-natal massage. So nice! Balance Day Spa also offers laser hair removal and spider vein treatment, teeth whitening, light therapy and reflexology. This is a perfect treat for any mom, and our lucky winner will get to choose $100 worth of services. We are sooo jealous!

Dinner out with the family!
The Carriage House Restaurant has donated a $100 gift certificate to our lucky mom and her family. The Carriage House is a restaurant that really takes pride in its customers. One of their signature items that has been around since the day it originally opened in 1969, is the famous relish try that is found on each table during the dinner hours. My favorites are their burgers and homemade chicken pie. We have taken the kids for lunch and the kids menu is great – fettuccini, hamburgers, chopped steak, beef tips, spaghetti, pork chops, chicken fingers, and grilled cheese! And the restaurant has two things that all moms love – crackers already on the table, and a menu with coloring and activities!

To register to win ALL of this, please click here to complete a short survey (this giveaway has now ended) and you’ll be registered. Also, as a favor to some of these gracious businesses – plus other businesses around the Triad who are interested in promoting their goods and services to you – we added a few extra questions to our survey in order to get to know you (and your shopping habits) a little better. There is no obligation to answer these demographic questions (required questions are marked with an *); we just hope you’ll participate as a favor to us and our future business partners.

This promotion ends at 11 pm on Friday, May 8, 2009. The winner will be announced on Mother's Day. And if by chance you don’t win this particular give-away, we hope you’ll visit the shops, restaurants, and boutiques listed above and tell them Triad Smarty Pants sent you! Good luck, Smarties!

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Is It Just Me????

By Rachel H

Random ramblings, thoughts and concerns from an everyday mom. So today I am asking the question, “Is it just me?”

Is it just me who…

· Always gets mean looks from older ladies in the grocery store when I take my kids with me?
· Actually enjoys watching reruns of “Full House”?
· Is absolutely enamored by the muscles on the guy from the “Lazy Town” cartoon?
· Can drink two diet cokes and still fall right to sleep?
· Does not have my ears pierced?
· Is flattered when I get stares from construction workers in my mini-van?

· Misses the smell of a baby’s room?
· Consistently promises myself that tomorrow I will not just sit on the bench at the playground and will instead run around with my kids?
· Really wants to educate the country on the correct usage of “your” and “you’re”?
· Enjoyed wearing a bathing suit while I was pregnant because I was “large and in charge” and was not embarrassed about it?
· Now refers to people by their first, maiden and last name since that is how it is posted on Facebook?
· Literally hurts my kids when I hug them because they are so darn cute and I want to SQUEEZE them?
· Thinks Atari was better than Wii?
· Can watch the Evolution of Dance video a thousand times and still think it is funny every time?
· Enjoys embarrassing my kids?
· Kisses my kids literally 100 times a day or more?
· Would lie in bed pretending to be sound asleep when the kids would wake up in the middle of the night and hope my husband would get up to check on them?
· Absolutely cannot remember what it was like to have a flat stomach?
· Doesn’t really understand the purpose of a rice cake?
· Never ever thought I would actually pick someone else’s nose until I became a mom?
· Majorly stresses over whether or not to send the kids to school when you can’t decide if they are getting sick?
· Wishes the “Land of the Lost” with Chaka and Sleestack was still on TV so my children could love it as much as I did?
· Thinks Chutes and Ladders can be the longest game on the face of the earth?
· Wishes the over-sized Forenza sweater would come back in style?
· Has kids that each have the potential to turn into a complete spaz by 7pm?
· Has dreams about PF Chang’s?
· Has been reprimanded by a complete stranger for making my son “walk too fast” in Target?
· Still uses the word Dude entirely too much?
· Is always talking to myself? Even in public?
· Laughed instead of reprimanded my toddler when he said, “oh sh*t!”?
· Does not understand how we are all still catching colds when everything we use kills 99.9% of germs?
· Always hopes my kids won’t finish their dessert so I can have it?
· Is scared to death of the teenage years?
· Thinks it is OK to eat most food that falls on the ground?
· Is still hoping to take piano lessons one day?
· Absolutely cannot stand the sound of someone’s teeth on a fork?
· Loves watching The Hills because it’s reality TV that is nothing like my reality?
· Loves the smell of rafts and inner tubes for the pool?
· Gets so excited when a Michael McDonald song comes on the radio?
· Gets teary-eyed when I watch my kids playing together and actually getting along?
· Has kids who know every ice cream and bagel shop within a 10 mile radius of my house?
· Is very leery of people who whistle?
· Has absolutely no patience for waiting in line anymore?
· Had a Nana that always smelled like Sen-Sens and really misses that smell?
· Catches myself singing along to kids’ music even when there are no kids in the car?
· Will admit that I love to play Word Whomp?
· Never wants my kids to grow any older than they are at this very minute?
· Thinks nothing’s better than lying in the grass and looking up at the sky on an 80-degree day?
· Can’t stand when people talk to their children really loud on purpose so that people around will hear them and comment?
· Tells my kids they can’t have a quarter for the gumball machine but then turns around and gets an ice cream sundae for myself for $4.00?
· Thinks that Ruby on the “Max and Ruby” cartoon is really bossy?
· Is still pulling for Britney Spears?
· Really thinks we need a drive-thru post office?
· Thinks we have way too many options for schooling these days?
· Can’t stand when teenagers called me “ma’am”? Am I really that old?
· Still does not have DVR?
· Is still praying that they will find Kyle Fleishmann?
· Heard my daughter’s four-year-old friend ask, “Why is your mom so grouchy”?

Thanks for letting me ramble. I would like to know if it really is just me!

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Favorite Parks - High Point Area

By Guest Blogger Jayna P.

We are wrapping up our lists of favorite parks in the Triad this week with our list from the High Point area. We hope these are lists you will visit again and again by clicking on "Parks" under our list of "Categories" on the left-hand side of our site. Each park has something different and unique that we hope you and your kids will enjoy. If you missed the Winston-Salem and Greensboro parks, click on their respective links to review!

Here's a list of great High Point parks, in no particular order:

City Lake Park
This is a large park located very close to High Point in Jamstown, NC. There is so much to do here!. City Lake Park has a large lake with paddle boats rentals, picnic areas with shelters, miniature golf, carrousel, multiple playgrounds, amusement rides, a real train that you can ride on around the lake, and during the summer months they have a waterslide and outdoor swimming pool. City Lake park has lots of different events that go on through out the year. Most recently, they had a huge Eater Egg Hunt which was free to the public. Check it out- it has been a favorite for many generations!

Deep River Park
This is a park that is located in North High Point just off Skeet Club Rd. This park hosts many different recreational sporting events. It is a great place to have a picnic, fly a kite play a little tennis or even check out a baseball or basketball game. The park has multiple baseball fields, tennis courts, basketball courts, a playground, restroom/concession building and a picnic shelter. Renovations are currently underway to add more facilities. If you are looking to have a picnic it is very close to many places to pick up something to eat (Chick-Fil-A, Panera, Wendy’s and many more!)

Triangle Park
This is one of my favorite “neighborhood” parks in High Point. This park has a great playground, swing set, slide and picnic tables. It is the perfect place to go with the kids after school on a beautiful day. They can get their fill of fun in 30 minutes or so. This park is nestled in Old Emerywood and gets its name because it is actually in the shape of a triangle! Located at 500 Colonial Drive in High Point.

Creekside Park
This is a wonderful park in Archdale, NC. This park is located just south of High Point. This park includes tennis courts, baseball/softball fields, picnic shelters, shuffleboard courts, horse shoe pits, 2 playgrounds, restrooms and paved walking trails. There is always lots going on here! Located in Archdale, NC.

Lake Thom-A-Lex Park
The park is at Lake Thom-A-Lex (the water source for Davidson County). It is a beautiful setting with four picnic shelters that can be reserved for $25.00 for a three hour period. I have had friends who have rented these for children’s birthdays and it is great! The park also has a new playground nearby the shelters for children to play on. If you decide to rent for a birthday a little “smarty tip” is to request shelter 1- it is the closest to the playground. There are also three large piers for fishing, or you can launch your own boat. They also have a bait shop on the premises for supplies so bring some money. Located at 700 Yokley Road in Lexington.

Armstrong Park
This 5-acre park is a neighborhood park that is available for recreational and rental use. The park features an ADA playground, youth baseball field that is lighted with bleachers, 2 picnic shelters, restrooms and 2 unlighted tennis courts. Bring a net because there is also a small creek that runs through this park perfect for catching tadpoles! Located at 305 East Parkway in High Point.

Oak Hollow Lake Park & Marina
A beautiful 1,500-acre park that features an indoor and outdoor tennis center, picnic areas, a scenic overlook, an 18 hole golf course, a children's play area, and a full service 90 site family campground. Boating, fishing, sailing, skiing, and swimming are just some of the recreational opportunities available at this park. Located at 3415 North Centennial Street in High Point.

The Piedmont Environmental/Greenway Trail
This center has many opportunities for adults and children. The center has eleven miles of hiking trails for walking or bicycling that wind along creek beds, forests and meadows. These trails provide the opportunity to observe wildlife in its natural habitat. Part of the Bicentennial Greenway from Greensboro's Battleground Park to High Point runs through the Center. The greenway can be accessed at many neighborhood parks that include: Armstrong Park, Kirkman Park School, McCain Park, the Little Red School House, Gibson Park, Piedmont Parkway. The trail hours are sunrise to sunset and is open 7 days a week. Located on Penny Road in High Point.

The Johnson Street Disc Golf Park
This course is nestled on the North side of High Point. It is one of the few public parks that is exclusively dedicated to disc golf! It is just North of the 311 by-pass on Johnson Street, just beside the fire station. You cannot miss the sign! Bring your stroller if you have little ones, they will enjoy the ride

Union Cross Park
"The Old Radar Base," as many call it is actually located in Forsyth County, but just beyond the Guilford County line. It is just off Hwy 311 at the Union Cross Rd. exit. This 15-acre park's main drawing strength is its excellent softball facilities. Other facilities include: picnic shelters, walking path, tennis courts, volleyball courts, horse shoe pits, lit basketball courts, restrooms and a playground. It is a great central location. Located at 1935 Union Cross Road in Winston-Salem.

Let us know what you think about this list, and if you have other High Point-area parks to add!

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