School Choice Program

By Guest Blogger, Jennifer Jacobs

When it came time to send me off to kindergarten, my parents did not have to think too hard about where I would go to school. In fact, they didn’t have to think at all. Everyone sent their children to the public schools in District 56. I was headed to Gurnee Grade School along with all my friends in the neighborhood. The exceptions were the kids who went to St. Patrick’s, the only parochial school in the area. And since my family was not Catholic, St. Patrick’s was not an option. Case closed.

Before I had kids, I did not give much thought to the school choice debate. I knew that my husband and I were not going to raise our kids in a big city, and I assumed that my kids would do as I had done: go to the local public school along with all the other kids in the neighborhood. It turns out that Dan and I settled in a town that is just big enough that school choice is in fact a complicated issue.

I have been thinking about school choice since we moved into our neighborhood four years ago and learned that the kids here attend at least half a dozen different schools. This especially caught Dan off guard. He had visions of our son and daughter tripping off down the road to the local school every day. Not that this could ever happen since getting to the public elementary school requires a ride in a bus or car, but you get the idea. (And another thing, why doesn’t anyone take the bus anymore?) Dan vehemently wants to send our kids to public school. I am not so vehement, but I am in agreement. But it’s not a good sign when the local public elementary school feels compelled to hold intimate coffees and open houses to educate and encourage local parents to send their children to school there. The administrators of Gurnee Grade School certainly never had to make such an effort.

What has changed? Is it because I am now living within a public school district that educates thousands of students versus little District 56 that educated hundreds of students? Is it because it is now thirty years from the time that I was a skipping kindergartener? Tomes could be and are written about the evolution, and perhaps deterioration of the American public school system over the past thirty years. All I know is that I have talked to a lot of other parents and none of us can believe how we are stewing over a question that once upon a time was elementary.

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what's for breakfast?

By Guest Blogger, Adri Warrick:

With the end of summer and fall classes in full swing, we have begun our early days with blurry-eyed kids that have exactly sixteen minutes to get dressed, eat breakfast and out to the bus stop, we have to stop and ask the question - what is for breakfast? The easiest solution is a bowl of cereal or a breakfast bar. Do you ever stop and ask yourself what is in that bowl of cereal or that chewy and super sweet bar? How long will that keep their tummies full and their brains alert? One of the most important things we can do for our kids is to send them out the door with the most nutrient packed breakfast.

It is important to pick a breakfast that has some fiber, protein and complex carbohydrates. Something that will keep them full, alert and have good energy while stabilizing blood sugar. If children experience dips in blood sugar it may result in behavioral changes and the inability to focus. I am sure as parents you may pack a lunch the night before and put some thought and time into the items you place in the lunch box. Approach breakfast the same way and think about it the night before. Pull out the ingredients or prep anything you can ahead of time. This picture is proof it can be done fast. It was taken at 6:40 am, the smoothies were made in the five minutes before my husband left for a business trip and the kids ate the peanut butter and banana slices before we could snap the picture. After a mad dash, Henk was out the door and on the bus at 6:57 am. Not my finest moment, but I wanted to be real about what mornings looks like!

Here are some suggestions for a quick and filling breakfast:

Green Smoothies

Scrambled eggs with a side of strawberries - don't dirty a bowl, just crack and stir in pan and add a little seasoning.

Sliced bananas with peanut butter - also makes a great snack. Use apples if your child doesn't like bananas

Cereal that contains protein and add berries - for fiber and fullness. Read the label on your cereals.

Instant oatmeal with berries - try plain oatmeal and add some real maple syrup or honey.
Yogurt with honey or maple syrup and berries - read the sugar content on yogurt as well as artificial sweetners.

Dutch Muesli

Whole wheat toast or bagel with a nut butter or cheese - look for a short list of ingredients on bread and that whole wheat is the first ingredient.

* For additional recipe ideas visit www.thewholetulip.blogspot.com

Don't underestimate the power of a good breakfast. Crowd out the bad by bringing in the new. Throw out the summer doughnuts and sugary cereals. Think about how you feel when your only fuel is 2-3 cups of coffee until lunch. You are jittery, distracted and grumpy. Our kids have some big shoes to fill now that they are back in school. You wouldn't let them leave the house without their backpack and lunch box so why would you let them leave without the fuel they need to get them through 'til lunch. Breakfast seems like an impossible task some mornings but if we insist that they get dressed and brush their teeth, can't we insist the same about a good breakfast?

Share some of your Smarty breakfast tips!

Adri Warrick is co-founder along with her younger sister of The Whole Tulip Blog. Married to hubby, Will, for 8 yrs and Smarty Mom of two boys, Henk (5) and Chase (2). She is a neuromuscular massage therapist and loves to run and cross train. The Whole Tulip is a site for people to find recipes that incorporate whole foods. Basically, cooking as close to the source as possible. They create and experiment with simple recipes to share with people who want to create wholesome food for themselves and their family. Adri is also currently enrolled in the Institute for Integrative Nutrition based out of NYC where she is studying to become a Holistic Health Counselor. She has a passion for the body and how it works and what it needs but don't be fooled, girlfriend loves her wine and chocolate as much as the next!!

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Bald is Beautiful

By Lisa K

There is a gene that my family passes from generation to generation, and it isn’t eye color or freckles or even our sense of humor. It’s the bald gene.  You don’t see many kids with this trait, but when I see another big baldy I always smile, knowing this mom probably experiences what I do each and every day.

You see, my daughter Katherine is 9 months old and does not have any hair. She somehow has less hair now than on the day she was born.   And the reality is that this isn’t going to change any time soon. It’s not unusual to see a bald baby in the first 3 to 4 months, but after that it gets tricky.

Katherine is getting bigger, has eight teeth and is looking more grown up.  She is a big beautiful baby and people can’t easily identify her age because she has no hair. 
 
And people are constantly confused about her gender.  Sure my baby is wearing all pink, but with that short haircut, she must be a boy.  “Oh, he’s so cute, or how old is he?” will be asked in every grocery checkout line or park I enter.  Again I can only assume this is because people can’t quite figure out why I have a giant bald baby in my stroller or grocery cart. Even the director at my daycare slipped the other day and said –wow he’s getting big. Then she looked at me and realized – oh crap that’s Lisa and her daughter is Katherine.

I would put a bow in her hair to help someone identify the gender more easily, but I can’t, she’s bald.  And I don’t mean she has short hair that I can’t put pig tails in. I bought those tiny bows that close with Velcro that only take a few strands to hold in place and I can’t make them work.

My husband really hates when people confuse his baby girl for being a boy and I see him stop at the sections of the store that have bows for little girls and he always flips over the package hoping to see something besides a clip there, some magic invention that will allow him to attach the pretty contraption to the head of his bald baby girl.  It’s just not in the cards.
 
Katherine will eventually turn one and be a giant bald walking baby.  I anticipate her hair showing up somewhere between 18 months and 2 years of age.  That’s when mine arrived.  It’s my gene that has people rubbing her dome and asking where her hair is. I don’t care, I think bald is beautiful.

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Secrets to What Is Going On at School

By Guest Blogger Kelly Gunzenhauser


My older son has started kindergarten. It’s been a big change from cozy preschool. I feel a little lost, and my son has done the big-kid-clam-up. He won’t tell me what happens at school! Lots of kids do this. They just lived it; they do not want to talk about it again. Sheesh, Mom, give it a rest. But I am just so darn curious. OK, nosy. Here’s how I tried to find out what really happened.

First, I learned to ask better questions. The answers for, “How was your day?” do not tell me much. Yes-or-no questions do not really work, either. (“Did you eat snack today?” “Nope.” “Did you do any math?” “Sure!”) So, I have tried to craft better questions, “What was the best/hardest/most fun thing you did today?” pulls out more detail.

Second, I pay attention to when I ask. In the car on the way home is an okay time, but we only have a five-minute drive. Dinnertime is better since we all take turns talking about our days. I try not to do it at bedtime. He’ll talk to me, but thinking about kindergarten keeps him awake. I know this, of course, because of idea #3, which is:

I listen to my kid play alone. After the second night of kindergarten, my son took his cars to bed. (That’s normal, for us. Who cares if they are hard and bumpy to sleep with?) We turned on the monitor and heard, “Who knows what a hockey puck looks like? Raise your hands. Okay, now who has seen a hockey game?” He was “teaching” his cars. This idea led to my fourth idea, which was:

I asked him to play school with me. Oh goodness. Dad, little brother, and I all got in the floor in front of the chalkboard easel. I watched my little five-year-old transform into a teacher. He explained the behavior monitoring system, which took up a huge portion of the “lesson.” He taught us how to transition to centers, how to line up for the bathroom, how loud we could be (level 1 or level 2 voices, everyone!), and then he did a letter recognition exercise. It was hilarious to see him in total control. In fact, when it was time to stop playing and take a bath, he had a hard time giving up the control—and the play—and a meltdown ensued. He is begging to do it again, though.

My little guy is still just three. I know he will spill the beans when he gets home from his first day of preschool today. And he’s that kind of kid, anyway. But hopefully, my older one will want to play school for a while. I learn as much from him playing school as he does at real school!

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Transitioning into Kindergarten

By Guest Blogger Kelly Sipe, Greensboro Day School

Robert Fulghum wrote "Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten." Take a moment to read all of the life skills that are taught in kindergarten. And, on top of all that, children are expected to grow academically, master fine motor skills, navigate through social dynamics and make friends. These children will also have a variety of specialist teachers (art, music, P.E., etc), in addition to their classroom teachers.

Kindergarten is as big as any major life transition. Here are some things you should expect, and things you can do to make the transition succesful for both you and your child...

If your child comes home from school and expresses anxiety and/or fatigue please know that this is normal. It typically takes children a full 4-6 weeks to acclimate themselves to their new routine. Quality teachers (and programs) pace their kindergarten curriculum with this in mind.

Over the next few weeks expect that you will communicate frequently with your child's teacher to make this a smooth transition for everyone. If your child's school doesn't already offer beginning of the year conferences, you can request one. As a kindergarten teacher, these early conferences are incredibly valuable. They allow for the assistant teacher and myself to get to know the families and learn about the child. It allows parents the opportunity to begin building a relationship with the teacher and to learn first hand what the teacher's expectations are.

It will also be important to attend your school's Parents' Night. The kindergarten year is full of wonder, excitement, growth, independence and friendship. It is one of the most important and special stages of your child's life. In helping to make the start of kindergarten as smooth as possible, here are a few things you can do at home:

-Limit after school activities (even play dates should be limited or postponed for the first few weeks).

-Maintain a regular and early bedtime.

-Eat a good breakfast and send healthy choices for morning snack (protein foods are perfect!).

-Allow quiet time every day .. time for you and your child to talk about the day without the distractions of television, video games, etc.

-Help your child to articulate his/her feelings so that they can better understand what they are feeling/experiencing.

-Give lots of hugs and encouragement ... remain positive, even if you are anxious and overwhelmed yourself (I say this because I admit to being an anxious Mom myself!).

-Connect with a first grade parent, who has made this kindergarten transition with their own child in the not so distant past.

-Although anxiety and fatigue is completely normal and expected, these feelings are very real to your child. Allow your child to walk through these emotions, with adult support, so he/she will gain the confidence and the necessary tools they will need to make kindergarten the wonderful journey it is intended to be!

Thanks, Kelly, for these great tips and suggestions! I know a lot of parents are looking for advice right now. These tips were great for me, too, as a mother of a first grader - KM

What are some things you have you done to help transition your kindergartner - either this year or in the past?

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What's In Your Car?

By Krista W, Charlotte Smarty Pants

You know those catchy Capital One commercials that ask, “What’s in your wallet?”. Well, this got me thinking. These days, a wallet isn’t a moms catch-all. A wallet? Please, too small, come on. Even purses aren’t big enough to hold a mom’s unsorted stuff. Yes, even those huge Jessica Simpson duffle bags don’t cut it! What then is our catch-all?!! As I was pulling out part of a raincoat, one sandal, two Silly Bandz, and a juice box from my SUV, it hit me. Cars are a mother’s catch-all! We pick up, we drive, we eat on the go, we run errands, and even take road trips . . . so isn’t it inevitable that our cars end up with random goodies just about everywhere you can shove something? And so, Smarties, I ask, “What’s in your Car?”. Seriously, I’m taking a random audit of what we are storing in our “offices on the go”. Make me laugh, make me question your sanity, make me jealous that you are organized! I’m just dying to know, what is in there?!

Okay, so a few of you are probably wondering what I’m talking about. You have pristine cars and everything is organized perfectly. I’m sure the thought of food in your car straight-up frightens you. I’m jealous. I wish my “office” was as clean as yours. It isn’t though, and I don’t think it is in my nature to keep a clean car. While my closet is practically color coordinated, my car is far from it. I’m constantly running from place to place, and my daughter is a mini hoarder who loves to bring her treasures for a ride. So, if your car is clean, can you share with me how it’s done?! Give me some tips or at least tell me the best place to score a killer car wash!

I feel like I’m doing my civic duty here! I imagine women heading to their car in search for something strange. Hey, maybe I’ve inspired you to get it together and clean out your Minivan? Who knows? I’m just curious. So I charge you all to get out there and tell me what the heck is riding along with you!

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How My Child Stopped Using Night Time Pull Ups

By Guest Blogger Kathleen Thorell

I knew my daughter had a small bladder when we potty trained her at age three. All my friends were telling stories of their children, the “camels” who were going hours and hours without ever having to go on the potty. This was so foreign to me. My daughter easily went every 30 minutes. Gradually, her bladder matured and she can now make it several hours without going.

At her four year old visit with our pediatrician, I asked about her wearing pull ups at night. She had mastered the daytime, but night time was another story. She often leaked through a pull up, in fact (until I found a good fit for her- Kroger’s Nite Time Pull ups, the cheapest ones!) The doctor had no worries. He explained that eventually her bladder would mature and grow, and she would be able to make it through the night or become aware of when she had to go. Throughout her 4th year, my daughter noticed that friends and relatives didn’t wear pull ups at night…some even younger than her! It started to bother her, but she didn’t like the idea of leaking either.

A few weeks before her 5 year old check up, my daughter admitted to me that sometimes, in the wee hours of the morning, she was aware of peeing in her pull up. She chose to pee in her pull up rather than go out into the scary, albeit well-lit, hallway (Ok, maybe we need to stop watching Scooby Doo). I tried to react with understanding and encouraged her to get up and go to the bathroom. I even gave her a small flashlight to put under her pillow.

At her 5 year check up her doctor was again not concerned that she was still in pull ups. That changed when I told him about her confession. He then stated that this may be one of the rare times that a small reward system may work for bed wetting. He explained that rewards do not work with all kids because they simply sleep too soundly to know when they have to go. He also informed me that bedwetting can be hereditary. My husband remembers having accidents until he was 7 or 8.

My daughter was actually excited to sleep in panties, but I had to get some supplies before we could start. I found some waterproof mats at Babies R Us for $8.99. They were meant for a crib and about the size of one, but they did not have the elastic sides. I wanted to be able to put the mat directly under her so that when leaks occurred, I could just change the mat instead of the whole sheet set. I bought two and hoped for the best. I also bought a pack of silly bandz and told my daughter she would earn one silly band for every dry night she had.

Night #1
I prepped my daughter by explaining that I would wake her up before I went to bed to take her to the bathroom (she goes to bed around 7:30). I encouraged her to go by herself if she felt the urge.
Results: took her to the bathroom 2 ½ hours after her bedtime (she “sleepwalks” through it); leaked at 3am; leaked at 5am
Morning thoughts: My daughter was sad to not earn a silly band, but not too discouraged. I am a bit tired.

Night #2
Results: woke her up to go bathroom 3 hours after bedtime…she was already soaked and sleeping right through it! Leaked 3am; leaked 5am
Morning thoughts: Again, she is mildly sad but not too discouraged. I want so badly to give her a silly band for being such a trooper through the potty trips and mat, underwear, nightgown changes. I feel like I have a newborn again, getting up every 3 hours! What have I gotten myself into?

Night #3
I tell her that if she gets up to go to the bathroom, I will give her a silly band. Risky, but I am sleep deprived and desperate.
Results: took her to the bathroom 2 hours after bedtime (dry!); leaked 12am; leaked 4am. No self-initiated trips to the bathroom.
Morning thoughts: My daughter is exhausted! The interrupted sleep is catching up with her. I am feeling discouraged and suggest that maybe it is too soon and we go back to pull ups. She adamantly refuses and states she wants to keep trying.

Night #4
Results: took her to the bathroom 2 hours after bedtime; leaked 5am.
Morning thoughts: We are both excited that she stayed dry up until 5am (she usually is awake by 6 or 6:30).

Night #5
Results: took her to the bathroom 3 hours after bedtime (trying to stretch out the morning hours); leaked 5 am.
Morning thoughts: She is a tired puppy, but stubborn! I enlist my husband to have a heart to heart with her about HIS bedwetting so she won’t feel like a failure. He never gets to that because…

Night #6
Results: took her to the bathroom 2 ½ hours after bedtime; NO LEAKING!!! She didn’t get up to go to the bathroom, she just didn’t leak.
Morning thoughts: My daughter was ecstatic! I was incredulous and happy, but skeptical. Surely this was a fluke. Oh well, she loved getting her silly band.

Night #7, #8, #9, #10, and #11
Results: 6 straight nights of no leaking!
I still don’t quite believe it. I assumed she would have to start going to the bathroom at night. Somehow, she retrained her bladder. I should have known my stubborn little girl would find a way to do it her way.

I am sure we will have accidents in the future, but for now we are all getting some much-needed sleep and she got a boost of self-confidence. I’d love to hear how others have tackled this issue or if you experiment with our little system. Summer is the time to do it!

Don't forget to register for our August Giveaway! You could be one of five lucky readers who will win a $20 gift card to Boutique of Couture in Winston-Salem. Think new fall clothes!!! Just click here to take a short survey. You must be a TSP newsletter subscriber to win. This giveaway promotion will run through Noon on Friday, August 13. Winners will be immediately notified and announced on TSP a few days later. Good luck, Smarties!

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Lil' Smarty Ear Piercing

By Jen P, Charlotte Smarty Pants

When to get your daughter's ears pierced can be a big decision for many parents. For some cultures, piercing a baby's ears is as natural as birth. For others, parents set a specific age, often times in the double digits. It's a personal choice. Since I'm not really that into body piercing (didn't get my ears pierced until my big sis and boyfriend dragged me into the piercing pagoda at age 16!), my only rule is that my daughter needs to be old enough to take care of it herself.

So Ansley is now 8 1/2 and has been nagging for a good year and a half. I decided to tie it around an incentive program for her to improve her grades. I'll do anything to get her math scores up! You can bet she delivered and then some! The very day her report card came out, conveniently on a Friday, she had already arranged for her entire entourage to accompany her to the mall that night for the big event. I have to say, I was quite impressed with her strategery. She naturally invited her b/f/f's but she made sure the one who had already gotten her ears pierced was top of the list. Brillz at such a young age!

Surprisingly, I hadn't done a lot of research on this. In fact, I had done none. Everyone I know who has gotten their ears pierced has gone to a Claire's Boutique. So we packed up the girls and decided to make it a pizza outing as well. SouthPark is the closest location to me and I just assumed you could walk on in. Normally you can, however this night, the ear piercing gun was broken. Are you kidding me? Isn't that their main source of revenue? My disappointed crew hopped back in the car and headed down to Carolina Place. Note to self: next time, call ahead! By this time, it was getting pretty late and the 'lil miss party planner herself was getting cold feet. We arrived at the 2nd Claire's location and I think this was a blessing in disguise. We were greeted by the store manager and assistant store manager, which made me feel like we were in expert hands, not just the evening high school help. The staff at Claire's was extremely professional about the entire process including liability waivers, parental consent, gloves, the whole shabang. They also dotted her ears with marker first to make sure the holes were even. Now it was time to rock and roll. And Ansley was definitely nervous and got out of the chair.

I certainly didn't want her to feel like she HAD to do this. This was 100% her doing. I stood back and watched the power of girlfriends kick in. The only thing I said to Ansley was "Sweetie, don't feel like you have to do this. Remember, this was your idea. The only thing I'll tell you that may help you make your decision is this. I'm not coming back ANY time soon for a do-over." That said, she reached for her friends' hands and squeezed tight. This is the coolest part. Her friend who already had pierced-ears coached her the rest of the way, while her other friend contemplating doing this sometime soon herself just listened in awe. Her friend gave her an example of the pressure by pinching the skin between her thumb and pointer finger. She told her it would hurt for a second and then it would stop. Right then I nodded to the managers and they simultaneously did both ears. That was another thing I did not even think about but was thankful for the expertise at Claire's. The managers sensed Ansley's apprehension and without even asking, stood by both ears at the same time. That was key in my opinion. My best friend's daughter in Florida was inspired by Ansley but her ear-piercing place did her ears one at a time. Well, sweet little Karlyn is walking around with only one daisy earring and feeling completely defeated. So make sure you request both ears at the same time.

I would highly recommend Claire's (found usually at malls). For a complete list of Claire's locations, click here. Our outing turned into a sleepover too since we didn't roll out of the pizza place until 9:30p. But it was a success. And Ansley couldn't be more proud. I did ask her if we had done one ear at a time, would she have agreed to the 2nd ear. Her answer: "no-way, hurt way too much!"

So Smarties, how did you decide whether or not to pierce your daughter's ears? What age do you think is appropriate? Where did you go - Claire's can't be the only place? We'd love to hear from you!

Don't forget to register for our August Giveaway! You could be one of five lucky readers who will win a $20 gift card to Boutique of Couture in Winston-Salem. Think new fall clothes!!! Just click here to take a short survey. You must be a TSP newsletter subscriber to win. This giveaway promotion will run through Noon on Friday, August 13. Winners will be immediately notified and announced on TSP a few days later. Good luck, Smarties!

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Memories, Sweet Memories

By Rachel H

I consider myself a pretty nostalgic person. When we visit my parents, I can spend hours looking through old photos, reading old report cards, and browsing through my old sticker collections. Some of you may remember my The Amazing Sense of Smell blog when I recalled all the memories that a specific scent can capture. I want my children to also enjoy reminiscing on their childhood. I want them to ask questions about their heritage and their relatives who passed on before they got to know them.

I have many ways that I try to create and save memories, but am always looking for more. Here are a few ideas I wanted to share today, and I would love for you to include comments at the end of this blog to give all of us more ideas on how to preserve memories for our children!


When both of my children were born, I never had an official baby book, but instead used many ideas from Creative Memories products to create a “First Year Scrapbook.” I included photos, stories, and other memorabilia in this scrapbook. I also kept a calendar during their first year of life, and then used this calendar to write about specific milestones in the scrapbook. As we got busier, my daughter’s scrapbook has remained stagnant at month eight, but I promise to complete it soon!


I have kept a diary since I was in the third grade! My first Hello Kitty diary looked very similar to the one above and had many entries about playing in the creek and making our girls only club. My entries transformed as I got older and were then about boys, crushes, jobs, colleges, weddings, and all of life’s difficult decisions. I think I am now on my fifth or sixth journal. The others are hidden away, and I am sure I would die of embarrassment if anyone read them now, but I smile when I think of the day I am gone and my kids can read the journals and know that the events and emotions they encounter in their lives have been experienced by their mom before. I hope they enjoy reading about how I handled difficult situations and decisions. It saddens me that I have not made time to write entries like I used to though. I bet I only crack open my journal once every four months now, as a life with children is much busier than it was when I was alone in my apartment and had all day to write! I hope to get back in the swing of things and write more so that my children can read about how much joy they brought to my life!


Another idea I have is to purchase an “All About My Grandmother” book like the one shown above. Both of my parents have their own book that has endless prompts for them to write a response. Questions can vary from, “Who was your first best friend?” to “Tell us about the house you grew up in.” My parents are graciously taking the time, little by little, to fill out these books and pass them on to my kids one day!


Recently, we had a photo session with one of TSP’s Favorite Photographers, Zoe Zen. Zoe captured the photo above of my immediate family and it is now on a canvas in my family room. We had never had a professional photographer take a family photo before, and I could not have been more pleased with the results. We also got shots of just the children, or just my parents, sister and I, or just the girls, etc. We got many combinations and many unique photos. I am excited to pass these prints down to my children one day. My mom has battled ovarian cancer for the past eleven years, and we were elated to get this family photo during a time when everyone was healthy and mom had a break from chemo. We’ll always cherish these photos!


Lastly, I bought a “Memory Box” for each of my children at Home Goods when they were born. We keep these boxes under their beds. I throw everything into these boxes! Report cards, ticket stubs, artwork, teacher notes, articles from the newspaper, first teeth, baby hair swatches, autograph books from Disney, photos, etc. One day I will organize them, but for now, it is perfect to keep everything in one place and I think my kids will have a blast going through these when they are older.

I hope I have given you some inspiration to start preserving some memories for your children. Please share your ideas below!

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Developmental "Red Flags"

By Dr. Kurt Klinepeter, Brenner Children’s Hospital
Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrician

Many parents worry at some point whether their child is developing normally and when they should be concerned about sitting up, walking, talking and interacting with others. It is commonly stated that children, and particularly siblings, should not be compared to each other. However, because children’s developmental skills develop in an orderly and predictable manner, it is quite possible and appropriate to compare children to the skill set they should have at any age and to be aware of developmental “red flags”.

Gross or large motor skills are the primary developmental skills in the first 12-18 months of life. Even newborn infants should demonstrate some head control. The 5-6 month old is holding his or her head up, popping up on his or her arms in prone position, and starting to sit with support. By 8-10 months of age, infants should be sitting independently and developing mobility (scooting, crawling). They are usually pulling up by at least 12 months of age and walking with, and then without, support a few months afterwards. Muscle tightness, weakness, or any unusual movements are a developmental red flag. The rate of motor progress can vary, but the key is steady progress over time.

Infants develop reaching, grasping, and transferring skills by 8-10 months of age. Most are able to self feed by 12 months of age with further refinement of self-help skills thereafter. Most 2 years-olds help with dressing and bathing. The range of toilet training is 2 to 4 years of age. Toddlers know what to do with a crayon -- making a stroke by 2.5 years-old and a circle by 3 years-old. True handedness is not usually apparent until 3 years of age. Early handedness (right or left), particularly in the first year of life is a developmental red flag.

Babies are social and demonstrate responsiveness to others by 6-8 weeks of age. Their eyes track together by 3 months of age and they are able to localize to voice or environmental sounds by 8-10 months of age. Any failure to respond to visual stimuli by 3-6 months of age or auditory stimuli by 8-12 months of age is a developmental red flag.

Young babies produce vowel sounds and then babble (consonant-vowel sounds) beginning at 6-8 months of age. Failure to babble by 12 months of age is a concern. Single words occur at least by 12-18 months of age. Thereafter, speech/language development literally explodes. Typical two year-olds have a multiword vocabulary and are putting words together. No expressive language by 2 years of age is a developmental red flag. Even limited language should be noted by 2 years of age and closely tracked since speech/language delays are the most common developmental disorder in young children. Children should be talking in complete and lengthy sentences by 3 years of age and in paragraphs with the ability to relate a story by 4 years of age. Speech sound development is not complete until 6-7 years of age. This means that young children predictably mispronounce certain speech sounds. By 3 years of age, approximately 75% of speech production should be understood in a typically developing child. If you find that you are still “interpreting” for your child after that point, a speech/language evaluation may be needed.

Children will look at something that is pointed out to them by 15-18 months of age. Failure to seek, share, and be motivated by social interaction (wanting mom and dad’s attention) after 18 months of age is a developmental red flag.

The bottom line is that children grow and progress in a steady fashion within age appropriate ranges. Any loss of developmental skills at any age is a developmental red flag. Trust your instincts. As a parent you can best serve your child by fostering a good relationship with your child’s pediatrician or health care professional and discuss any questions or concerns that you have at your child’s well-check visits. Development is easily screened in the primary care office and, if necessary, you and the provider can discuss whether a referral for assessment is indicated. Developmental disorders occur frequently and it is well known that the key to the best possible outcome is to identify and treat as early as possible.

Brenner Children’s Hospital houses the only medical and developmental evaluation clinic in the region for developmental delays and disabilities. For more information, call 336-716-2255.

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When Children “Cry Wolf”

By Guest Blogger Lisa Witherspoon

“Wolf! Wolf! Wolf!” We all know the story of the boy who cried wolf, but what do we do when our own children “cry wolf?” Here are some suggestions:

First of all, it is important to understand why children lie. There are several reasons that children may not tell the truth:

•Fantasy: Children, especially younger ones, may tell made up things or things they have imagined and present them as truth. This kind of lying really does no harm as long as children can separate reality from make believe.

•Fear: This one is classic. Two children are playing; a lamp crashes to the floor; they both point at the other and say “He did it!!” This kind of lie happens because children are afraid of the consequences they will face for their actions, so they blame it on someone or something else.

•Avoiding a task: Pretending to be sick so he/she doesn’t have to go to school; faking an injury to sit out of P.E. – these are classic examples of lying in order to avoid an unpleasant task.

•For love and approval: Let’s face it – we all like to be praised and told how wonderful we are. Sometimes, kids will stretch the truth in an effort to get this praise. Some children my claim to like a particular sport because they think their father will be proud of them. Others may lie to classmates about having a fancy home or expensive toys in order to impress them. These are typical examples of lying in order to get approval.

Now that we know why children lie, what do we do about it??

•Always model being truthful. Try to avoid telling others “white lies” and don’t lie to your children.

•Talk about values and explain why lying is wrong and that it leads to mistrust. (i.e. Tell them the story of the “Boy Who Cried Wolf!”)

•Enforce logical and consistent consequences for lying such as loss of a privilege.

•Don’t forget to punish the original misbehavior as well. When children lie, parents get angry, but don’t lose sight of the misbehavior that started the cycle to begin with.

•Get to the underlying problem. What are the kids afraid of when they pretend to be sick so they don’t have to go to school? Do they think Daddy won’t love them if they don’t play soccer?? If you can address and fix the underlying problem, the lying is likely to go away.

•Praise them when they tell the truth. Telling the truth can be a scary and difficult thing to do. When your child does the right thing, give them the credit they deserve and praise them for taking the high road!

**Information for this article gathered from:
www.childparenting.about.com & www.life.familyeducation.com/parenting

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Positive Play Dates

By guest blogger, Krista W, Charlotte Smarty Pants

I love play dates. I mean L-O-V-E, LOVE them! It is wonderful time for your child to interact with their friends AND for mommies to get together and catch-up. My fabulous (and I do mean fabulous) playgroup have meet religiously for three years and watched countless memories unfold and new additions born. Our group has hit almost every activity you could think of in Charlotte from parks to pools. As our children have grown, I’ve started to realize the teachable moments play-dates provide. During these “playful” afternoons I’ve watched beautiful interactions where sharing, problem solving, and teamwork develop. As the age of our playgroup has risen (we started at six months and are now celebrating fourth birthdays) I’ve started to feel the urge to teach our group the gift of giving back.

How can we teach our toddlers (and ALL aged children) the importance of our community and what it means to make a difference? Try scheduling a “positive play-date”! Take the tykes to the local Fire Station (call and set-up a time with the Captain first). The firefighters will gladly host your group and allow the children to get near the truck and learn the importance of fire safety and prevention. Bring the team cookies and you will be loved from the moment you step foot inside the station. Arrange a time to sing to the elderly at a retirement home. The children will love to be on stage and the residents will be filled with joyful tunes of toddlers. Plant trees in a park or garden, have a “clean up” event where you visit a local park and pick up trash before playing, or bake muffins for the mailmen. There are countless ideas and thousands of ways to teach a child gratitude and the art of giving. Start with your group and make playtime something meaningful. Teach your group they matter and that together we can make a difference.

Happy playing, and happy positive planning!

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What do you pay your babysitter?

By Rachel H

A few weeks ago, Jen P. ran a blog about this topic on Charlotte Smarty Pants. I was pleasantly surprised to see that the rates I use for my babysitters were very similar to what most CSP readers were paying their sitters. It is important to talk to other moms about this, so that you are not the mom who is underpaying or even overpaying!

The rates below are what Jen shared on her blog, and although I do not use sitters in all of these categories, I think these rates are very fair. I also base payment on whether or not the sitter can drive. If I have to pick up the babysitter and/or take her home, I usually pay a little less than if she can drive herself.

-Mother's Helper: $3-$5/hour
-Middle School: $5-$7/hour
-High School: $8-$9/hour
-College: $10/hour
-Nanny/Adult: $12/hour
-Overnight Sitter: $150-$175/night

Although this pay scale varies by location, number of children and level of expertise, wouldn’t it be great to know we were all paying our sitters basically the same thing? No more wondering if we sent the sitter home with too little and now they will never come back. And no more wondering if we paid too much and now we’ll always be expected to pay that much!

Another question raised was what you expect your sitter to do as far as cleaning up after the children go to bed, putting dishes away, doing laundry, etc. You may remember our guest blog from Brooke Farmer that touched on this topic with nannies. I would love to hear expectations from our readers in this area as well.

I think my favorite babysitter is always another mom. I value the trust I have built up with my girlfriends and we constantly lean on each other for help. I have not used a babysitter during the daytime in SO long. It makes so much sense to have a friend watch my children so that they will have playmates, and I will save money. My friends know they can always call on me as well when they have an appointment, meeting, or just need a break. (When we want to go out at night, we always hire a babysitter so that the kids can get to bed at a normal hour.) I think as long as the babysitting swaps stay equal between moms, this is a wonderful way to go!

So now it is your turn, moms. Please comment below and share your babysitter expectations, rates, and opinions. If you are unsure how to leave a comment, click here.

Today is the last day to register to win a family four-pack of tickets to see Peter & the Wolf, compliments of Eastern Music Festival. Two TSP newsletter subscribers will win four tickets each! To register for these tickets, click here. Good luck!

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Sleep-Overs: How Do You Ensure Success?

By Katie M

This summer we entered into a new era of big kid play-dates. Forget playing for just a few hours, now those dates all end with, "Mommy Can She Sleep Over?" I'm not surprised, though. My daughter Emily, who is now six, actually started having sleep-overs at the ripe age of four. I know, gasp! However we come from a large family (my children have over 20 cousins) so sleeping in the same room with other kids at a very young age has been impossibly unavoidable.

Emily’s first sleep-over (one that did not include cousins or family friends visiting from out of town) was with her best bud who lived a few houses down from us. We had known the family for years so we felt comfortable letting her go and we were pretty confident we wouldn’t get the middle-of-the night-call to come pick her up. So now, having seen how much fun Emily has on these sleep-overs, my three-year-old son and his best bud (also a neighbor) are asking to do the same. Trust me, it’s not happening anytime soon. But it begs the question: What age is a good age to start sleep-overs, and what do you do to ensure a successful night?

Like all parents, my husband and I set a few basic ground rules – and make sure we have a couple of staples on-hand – before the event begins. Of course we communicate a “lights out” time right off the bat, and we have a “wind-down” time established to ensure peace and quiet at some point. We don’t set rules on when they can get up in the morning, but that’s only because we let the girls either sleep in our basement playroom or in the guest room on the first floor. So, if they rise before us (which is pretty unlikely with a three-year-old in the house) they know enough to play quietly before we come down.

And while sleep-overs can be a lot of work in itself, I have to admit I’m not one to plan a special activity or craft. I’m all about letting the kids play together independently. But we always make sure to have plenty of popcorn and a couple of Red Box movies on-hand for the late night wind-down. And I also like to cook a special breakfast the next morning – one that usually involves chocolate chips and whipped cream (because we moms deserve a treat too, right?).

While writing this blog, I came across some great tips on Parenting.com on how to determine whether your child is ready for a sleep-over and things to consider before hosting the big event.

According to the web site, age alone doesn’t determine sleep-over readiness. And sometimes your child may say he is ready, but he's not. Here are some signs to help you determine if the time has come:

READY
• Expresses unqualified enthusiasm (but be aware of zeal accompanied by trepidation).
• Has successfully "practiced" at a relative's or a family friend's.
• Sleeps at home without repeatedly asking for water or using other sleep-stalling tactics.
• Handles separation easily, whether parting for school or being left with a babysitter.
• Voices mild doubt that's easily resolved -- say, an issue of not knowing where the bathroom is.

NOT
• Needs elaborate bedtime rituals, such as three stories, a bedside lamp on, a door open, or a certain tape playing.
• Depends on middle-of-the-night comfort in your bed.
• Regularly wets the bed.
• Only wants to host a sleepover, not be a guest.
• Clings when you leave him, and seems averse to new experiences.
• Displays anxiety that the friend is a bully (or some other concrete sign of discomfort).

And when that big day does come, here are seven signs Parenting.com offers to ensure success:

1. Talk it over with your child. Discuss who -- and how many -- to invite, along with ideas for activities and food. For 5- and 6-year-olds, one guest is best; for older kids, more can be better, but keep the group small enough to easily supervise -- six to eight kids, max.

2. Nail down the details. Invite the guest(s) well in advance, specifying the starting and ending times, and tell the parents what to bring (a sleeping bag, a stuffed animal, etc.). Offer younger kids the option of staying overnight or only for the evening.

3. Tell the parents what's planned, including any videos and outside activities. Get a contact number if they'll be out that night, and ask about their child's food allergies or other important information.

4. Set limits. Tell children your house rules (no running, jumping, or screaming; where snacking is allowed; what's off-limits) as you give a rundown of the fun that's to come. Hint at a surprise or two. Let them know when lights-out will be (and give a ten-minute warning before it comes).

5. Keep 'em busy from the get-go. Have a simple crafts project ready, or get everyone dancing in the family room.

6. Feed them early and often. Serve a finger-food meal soon after guests arrive. Get them involved in the preparation: Do-it-yourself pizzas (using prebaked crusts and prepared toppings), subs, a taco bar, and fruit smoothies are all great options.

7. End with a flourish. Have an easy breakfast, such as juice and muffins. If everything clicks, try one last activity. Bring it to an early finish, at around 10 a.m.

I think we’ve been doing a pretty good job. How about you? How did you know your child was ready, and what special tricks do you have to share?

And don't forget to register to win a family four-pack of tickets to see Peter & the Wolf, compliments of Eastern Music Festival. Two TSP newsletter subscribers will win four tickets each! To register for these tickets, click here. This giveaway ends Friday, July 9. Good luck, Smarties!

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Mommy Guilt

By Tracy S, Charlotte Smarty Pants

It is Thursday and I am sitting on a plane headed home from a work trip as I type this post. I’ve been gone since Tuesday and I’m so anxious to see my family. The morning before I left, Jake sat in the bathroom with me while I got ready and told me how much he was going to “miss all the cuddling that we do” and that he would “make sure Daddy didn’t get Ryanne’s ears pierced while I was gone!” (Matt was totally joking about it a few days earlier when I said she wasn’t allowed to get her ears pierced until she was at least 5 .. she’s only 1-1/2 now!). So sweet but made me miss him terribly before I even left! When I called home Tuesday night, I found out that Ryanne was running a slight fever and was sent home early from daycare … and had to remain out on Wednesday. Matt had a big meeting on Wednesday he would have to miss. While there was absolutely nothing I could do about it, the guilt of being gone immediately set in. Matt, of course, was super supportive and laughed it off as Murphy’s Law.

I’ve been a working mom since my son was only 3 months old. While it has constantly been a balancing act (as so many things we moms juggle are), I’ve never regretted my choice to work full time and raise a family. But lately, I have been struggling more and more with finding the right balance. I think a lot of it started when Jake started Kindergarten this fall. Because of his school hours, he has to go to the Before and After School programs. For the first time, he felt “different” than his friends. “Mommy, why can’t I be a bus rider or car rider like all of my friends? Why do I have to stay and go to After School?” It absolutely broke my heart to have to say “because mommy has to work.”

Now – I know what many of you are going to say – that I have a choice … that if I really wanted to stay at home, I could find a way to make it work. You’re right – I do have a choice. I want to provide things to my children that I was not afforded growing up. To quit my job would mean a significant sacrifice for my entire family … and I don’t think that’s fair either. And for the most part, I enjoy my job and I am afforded a great deal of flexibility to work from home when I need to or to take off in the middle of the day to volunteer at the kids’ schools. Not to mention the benefits my company offers for myself and my kids that we would not have available through my husband’s job. And for many women, they do not have a choice, for whatever reason, so please don’t judge or “bash” those of us that work vs stay home with our children. It is a personal choice and one that should be respected – this post is not meant to be a debate on WM vs SAHM and who has it harder. I have SAHM friends who struggle with it as well and I completely respect the amount of work that goes into staying at home with your children. We all have it, so PLEASE don’t even go there!

Which I guess brings me to my point. Mommy guilt. It is hard being a mom no matter what. I am sure I speak for every single one of you reading this when I say our mission in life is to love, care for, provide for, and make everything all right for our precious little children. We try to make the best decisions along the way – some easier than others – in the hopes that our children look back one day and cherish their childhood and think “Wow, my mom was the best mom she could be!” Mommy guilt can range from spending time away from your kids, getting frustrated with them, to not wanting to play one more game of "find the dinosaur" or turning on the TV so you can get some stuff done. I found this article that I thought I would share: Kiss Mommy Guilt Goodbye. It gives some good perspective on some common guilt traps and reminders on how to give ourselves a break.

I often think a lot of the guilt I feel is completely self imposed. Matt reminds me all the time to “not worry about it” - what ever the “it” is at the time. So maybe its time we all take a moment and pat ourselves on the back for all the things we do RIGHT!

So tonight, as soon as my plane landed, I went straight to pick my kids up from school, picked up a special dinner and spent the whole night cuddling up with them talking about all the fun stuff they did with Daddy when I was gone. And you know what the very first thing Jake told me? “Mommy, I did NOT let Daddy get Ryanne’s ears pierced!” At that moment, the biggest smile spread across my face, knowing that we have raised such an amazing little boy that will stop at nothing to take care of his little sister and keep Daddy in line when Mom is away! :)

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When Is the Best Time of Year to Have a Baby?

By Rachel H

Both of my children celebrated their birthdays this month. Their birthdays are just a few days apart, and my husband and I both have birthdays in August, so our summers have always been a lot of fun. It got me thinking about what times of the year are the best times to give birth.

In a perfect world, we’d count back nine to ten months from the month we’d like to give birth, and try to conceive somewhere in that area. But in the real world with miscarriages, infertility, and just bad luck, unfortunately we know that cannot always happen so easily.

Just for kicks and giggles I thought it would be fun to have our readers chime in with their thoughts on the best time of the year to give birth. I will share my viewpoints on June, since I have double the experience with that one!

“Pros” of giving birth in the month of June:

~ You can pretty much do anything you want for birthday parties as they grow older – indoor, outdoor, pool, backyard, etc.
~ It is exactly halfway through the year after Christmas, so just as everyone gets tired of their gifts from the holidays, you are ready to re-stock with presents and weed out the ones that they haven’t played with since December.
~ You don’t have to invite the entire class to a birthday party if you don’t have the funds or the space. No one is talking about the party at school and hurting other kids’ feelings!
~ As far as pregnancy, you get to have a summer baby without carrying an extra 30 pounds throughout the entire summer.
~ When you are preggos, you get to wear a bathing suit and be perfectly comfortable with how much weight you have gained because you are pregnant and you are SUPPOSED to be fat this summer!
~ After the baby arrives, there is not too much of a chance of getting stuck indoors with nothing to do and no visitors. Everyone is out and about, germs are not in full force, and you & baby can get out as well!

“Cons” of giving birth in June:

~ Kids don’t usually get to celebrate their birthday on the actual day at school.
~ Since June is close to the cut-off date for Kindergarten Registration, you will have to deliberate over whether or not to send your child to Kindergarten the fall after they turn five, or wait a year and send them to readiness instead. (Both of mine went straight to Kindergarten after turning five that June, but many of their friends with June birthdays did not.)
~ As far as pregnancy, you don’t get to hide under big sweaters if you are uncomfortable with your weight gain.
~ After you have the baby, you still have two months of summer left where you really don’t want to be caught dead in a bathing suit with your pre-pregnancy body.
~ If it is not your first child, you don’t get the few hours of solitude when the older one is at mom’s morning out or school.

After weighing out my thoughts above, I think June is a great month to give birth!

Now it is your turn to chime in. Please share the month(s) you gave birth and explain why that month is or is not a great month to have a child! If you are unsure how to leave a comment, click here.

Don't forget to register to win a pair of Orthaheel flip flops - a generous offer from Fleet Feet of Winston-Salem. You must be a Triad Smarty Pants newsletter subscriber to be eligible to win. This promotion ends Friday, June 25 and TWO winners will be announced shortly afterwards - just in time for you to sport these sandals at the pool!

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Keep Your Children Reading This Summer

By Guest Blogger, Jennifer Lockert, Assistant Director and Teacher, Reynolda Preschool and Kindergarten

As a teacher of young children a common question I get is, "How do I get my child reading over the summer?" All children desire and need a break from the routine and demands of the school year, but teachers will tell you that children who participate in reading activities over the break have an easier transition in the fall. So how can families balance their summer activities and schedules with reading? Easy! Just make a game plan that suits your child's interests and your family's agenda.

For preschool-aged children it all begins with play. Continuing to provide independent and group play, structured and unstructured play times, taking excursions in your neighborhood, and participating in meaningful conversations with your youngster will heighten vocabulary and thinking skills, which enhance reading development. Isn’t is reassuring to know that simply sitting in the grass with your child and talking about clouds is helping her prepare to read?

Read with your child daily, maybe a specific time each day, using a variety of books. Grab a large basket, fill it with picture books, rhyming book, non-fiction books, predictable books, fairy tales, nursery rhymes, and how-to books, and park yourself under a tree to read. Even if your child wants to read the same story over and over or seems to want to look at the pictures in one book for hours on end, this is reading. Rejoice! Keep a book basket in the car and add some audio books or books with CDs. Match book choices to experiences. For example, if you are going to the beach, peruse books about the beach to help your child make connections. Visit the local library or book store and enjoy story time or just relax in the air conditioning and read. Refresh your choices every week or two and keep the favorites on hand.

Homemade and store bought games like alphabet bingo, puzzles with letters or words, searching for letters on license plates or words on road signs while on a drive, or playing Go Fish with alphabet cards are fun summer activities that keep the learning going.

For elementary-aged children, this is a wonderful time to get children to delve into personal interests and passions. Do you live with a nine-year-old who is crazy about dolphins? Indulge in books and websites that foster this interest and encourage him to join a group that protects dolphins and their habitats. Accessing the public library, new and used book stores, or trading books with friends is a great way to build a repertoire of reading experiences. Passionate readers can start a book club with friends or family, complete an author study, or challenge themselves to complete a set number of hours of reading over the summer.

For the reluctant reader, find materials that will motivate her to read, even if it may not appear as challenging as you may wish. Comic aficionados or pre-teen drama enthusiasts may be more likely to read books they choose over prescribed “classics,” and above all we want them to read, read, read! (Of course, parents should monitor material for age-appropriateness.) Parents should also continue to read with their older children when possible. Elementary-aged children still love the intimacy that comes with hearing their parents read to them. And this is a great chance to read a novel that you choose or may be a little too hard for them to get through independently.

Don’t hesitate to participate in school, library, or bookstore summer reading incentive programs that offer rewards for participation. Keeping track of reading activities at any age is tangible and motivating. You can even set this up at home; create a chart in which your child can keep track of time spent doing reading activities and decide how these accomplishments can be awarded. Perhaps your child will earn new books, an ice cream party, stickers, a movie night, or computer time.

Speaking of computers… parents are often wonder about how much time is appropriate for children to spend on games and websites. When allowing computers, consider how your child balances this activity with others and how they are using the computer. Help your child select websites and games that enhance reading development and then monitor their time. When used appropriately, the computer can be an asset to reading growth.

Finally, reading is spurred by experience and modeling. Taking your children to interesting locations – a park, a science museum, or the pool – can all inspire knowledge, questioning, and language development, the foundation of reading progression at all ages. Modeling your interest and commitment to literacy is deeply connected to your child’s participation. Let them see you peruse a magazine, check out books from the library, scan newspaper articles, and discuss good books with others. Your actions and enthusiasm set the tone for a season rich with reading.

What other smarty tips can you provide?

Our June Giveaway ends TOMORROW! Register to win a free birthday party for your child at Funigan's! Please be sure you are first a newsletter subscriber (enter email address in the box in the upper right corner). Then you can click here to read about the giveaway and register!

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Smarty Sponsor: YMCA Adventure Guides and Princesses

By Guest Blogger, Andrew Plyler, Director of Adventure Guides

YMCA Adventure Guides and Princesses is all about “fostering the father/child relationship.” No gift you give your son or daughter will mean as much as the time you spend with them. And you will find that you will treasure those moments as well.

YMCA Adventure Guides (formerly known as Y-Indian Guides and Princesses) is a father/child program opened to dads and their kids beginning in Kindergarten. Started in 1926, Adventure Guides is the oldest parent/child program the YMCA has offered. Dads and their kids form tribes that meet once a month in a member’s home where they sing songs, do crafts, and tell stories. In addition to the monthly meetings, participants go to Camp Hanes in the fall and spring for a weekend of archery, canoeing, Zip Lines, and more!

Each winter, the Guides (boys) come to the William G. White Jr. Family YMCA for a Lock-In and Princesses attend our Daddy/Daughter Valentines Dance, the largest Daddy/Daughter Dance in the Triad. By focusing on the formative, younger elementary ages, Adventure Guides seeks to foster and strengthen the bond between a father and child.

“To this very day, over 30 years later, I still have such fond memories from my time spent as an Indian Princess. From the meetings at my teepee, to the weekend outings at Camp Sea Gull, time that I spent with my dad was one of the most precious gifts that I would ever receive. I believe that the bond we formed between us during those years is the foundation for the friendship that we share today. And now that I am a mother myself, nothing makes me happier than to see my daughter and her dad experiencing the magic of the Adventure Guides Program together. I know that they are making memories that will be cherished for a lifetime.”
~Amy “Little Butterfly” Rabold, Former Y-Indian Princess, Current Adventure Princess mother


“I love Adventure Guides on many levels - the kids love it, we are making memories together, mom gets a break, I hang out with other dads, etc. Each tribe can really shape the experience based on the personalities of the kids and the dads. The forums and the venues are great - meetings and games in family homes, camping in some great places like Camp Hanes and Camp Cheerio ... there are few other great ways to get started with the outdoor activities and other small group activities that really build the self-confidence of the child. I have a daughter and a son that both love the program - and I admit that I wouldn't "naturally" do some of the great stuff we do together if it weren't for Adventure Guides. The gender differences are interesting and the kids get different things out of it - but both are quick to ask "When is our next Adventure Guides meeting?" and "Dad, when do we go camping again?" They tell me that they enjoy spending time with me and that we don't get to do it enough. Dig it hard before they get to be surly teenagers. This is the good stuff.”
~Steven "Blue Fish" White, CIO, Optcapital - member of Piedmont Prancing Ponies and Hilltop Newts

If you are interested in joining Adventure Guides, it is simple to start your own tribe. Click here to find out how! We hope your experience will be truly rewarding for your family.

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Do I Play With My Kids Enough?

By Katie M

I will never forget the words one mom said to me when my first born was just six months old. She told me she was “too busy to play with her kids.” At the time she was a stay-at-home mom and her children were in elementary school full-time. She did not have any work or volunteer obligations. I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure she also had a hired maid, a husband who helped with dinner preparations and a laundry list of babysitters she used non-stop. All that, but she was still too busy, she said.

As a new mom, those words hit me like a ton of bricks. I remember being so angry and thinking (and later wished I had said), “Why did you even bother to have children?” Who knows – maybe she was exaggerating or didn’t realize what she was saying. Regardless, those words from her still haunt me. And after six years of being a mom, I am still trying to put those words into perspective.

So now my children are ages six and three. I have one in elementary school full-time, and one in preschool several days a week. I think I’m pretty busy. Besides this little thing called Triad Smarty Pants, I also work on occasional freelance jobs. I clean my house, do the laundry, prepare dinner most nights of the week, manage the grocery runs, care for my kids, blah, blah, blah.

I know, I know. You all do this too – plus a lot more! I’m not saying my situation is unique at all. We are all busy moms – whether we work or not. I get that. But despite the 8 to 13 waking hours I have with my children every day, I still worry I am not playing with them enough.

Being a mom and a wife is my first job (everything else comes second). And so lots of times that means I need to empty the dishwasher instead of color or paint. Or, vacuum the house instead of play in the yard. Or, change the laundry or start dinner – instead of play another round of I Spy.

I know it’s important to stay on top of all those things around the house, but I also know it’s equally important to live in the moment and not sweat the other stuff. The house will get clean, we’ll find something to eat for dinner (even if it’s just grilled cheese sandwiches), and chances are good we have a few clean outfits left at the back of our closets.

Added to this mommy guilt is the constant plea from my kids, “Play with me, play with me, play with me.” It makes me feel as if I never do, even though I know that’s not true.

Yet as much as I want to spend more hours playing, I also get easily burnt out. So, on the opposite spectrum, I have a confession to make. In the words of Rachel's four-year-old daughter, “I would rather stick pins in my eyeballs” then dress up Barbie for hours on end or search for earthworms and spiders. I’m all about getting down and dirty with the kids, but I’m also all for fostering independent play. I mean, really - there is a reason we bought this house with a dedicated playroom and fenced-in backyard, right? :)

So when I’ve had enough of play and pretend, I go back to the same daily chores of cleaning, laundry and cooking while they continue to play (or not)…and then the predictable pleas of “play with me” continue...along with the unending cycle of mommy guilt..and it goes on, and on, and on...

As I go back and forth on this topic – and strive every day to NOT be the mom who says “I’m too busy to play with my kids” – I wonder if you all share this same struggle? Do you worry you aren’t playing with your kids enough? And as much as you want to play more, do you admit you get easily burnt out too? Where is the happy balance for you?

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