By Katie M
I’m so excited to introduce our very first Smarty Dad this Father’s Day weekend, Joe Tappe! Joe is a neighbor of mine and, in my humble opinion, is one of the most hands-on dads I know! I actually met Joe years ago at Hanes Park where we were pushing our daughters (then just ages one and two) on swings while he sang “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” and “Baa Baa Black Sheep” - and he ultimately taught me that both those songs are based on the same tune – I never knew! Fast forward a few years later, we are now neighbors, and our daughters (now ages five and soon-to-be-six), often share play dates and walks in our neighborhood park. There is not a day that goes by – whether a snow day, a rainy day or a sunny day – that I don’t see Joe outside sharing experiences with his children. They are always the first on our street sleigh riding, looking for crayfish in the creeks, or riding bikes, scooters or wagons.
Joe and his wonderful wife Brandi have two adorable children; Sophia (almost 6) and Gabe, age 8. Joe has lived in the Triad 20 years and is a stay-at-home dad. On the side, Joe is a freelance musician who writes, records and plays music, and is part of the local band Suitcase, a song writing/performing/recording duo he started with a friend. Together, he and his friend have been writing songs since high school. Their recordings have been used for commercial and corporate promotional videos, as well as in lots of independent films across the country, on MTV reality shows, and for TV pilots.
On top of all that, Joe volunteers at The Downtown School by playing music and doing other various volunteer roles. Every summer he teaches at Eagle’s Nest camp, and he is always busy remodeling his historic home and other rental properties he owns around town.
So let’s get to know Joe!
How did you and your wife come to the decision that you would stay at home?
We felt it was very important to have a parent home with the kids. How can you miss such an incredible experience? I was the lucky one to get the nod! She had been running (and continues to do so) a business with her father since she finished college and was integral in the success of that enterprise. Her role as “boss” is not only a great role model with our family, but also allows for incredible amount of flexibility. She was able to work from home for the first six months with our first child, and then was able to bring our second child to work for the first couple months. This allowed for breast feeding, as well as every breakfast, lunch and dinner together as a family. And still, the flexibility her job allows gives both of us the opportunity to attend school functions, cover when unexpected conflicts come up, and have both of us around a lot. When we were about to have kids, my career was moving toward a touring band…in my mind that was not as compatible with giving the best home to our baby.
What is the most challenging part of being a stay-at-home dad?
Wow, the challenges that every stay-at-home parent probably faces. A CEO of a major company probably does not face the variety, intensity, importance and urgency of tasks that a “homemaker” does. Some might think that the stigma of being the man at home would be a problem, but I have had no problem with anything like that. In fact, I would tell all my friends that being a “housewife” is really the best kept secret….being able to get to know your kids so intensely, being able to experience a time that is so short, being able in many ways to be a kid again. Don’t miss it!!
I suppose for me the biggest challenge is making sure I do all I can for the kids. With such a wonderful and supportive wife, I know I have the opportunity to really do a good job, both with making a home and raising happy kids. When I fall short or when I don’t do it all, that can be discouraging…however unrealistic.
What Smarty tips do you have for dads in your position?
I think it’s important to maintain goals and drives for yourself. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the role you’ve taken on and lose touch with the rest of life, which can only inform your parenting and keep you sane!
What is your favorite family activity?
We love to jump on our trampoline, garden, have movie night…just goof around at the house, really. I think we all really look forward to going to shows all together, for example The Nutcracker, the UNCSA Spring Dance, the Symphony and other “fancy” events like that. We all have a great time and the kids are really enthused.
Favorite “daddy-time” activity (without kids)?
Playing music or working around the yard.
Best place to eat lunch with the kids?
Home. I guess if we ate out it would probably be Mellow Mushroom or Burke St. Pizza.
Favorite place to eat dinner out with the kids?
4th Street Filling Station or West End Café.
Best thing to do/place to go for a date night in the Triad?
Downtown Winston-Salem! Free music, great bars/clubs/ restaurants and great events.
Do you shop for the kids’ clothes, and if so, where’s your favorite place to get a good deal?
I do shop for our kids’ clothes, shoes etc. though we get wonderful help from Grandma and my wife grabs a bargain when she sees it. I am frugal to a fault with stuff like this and I find amazing deals at the W-S Rescue Mission on Trade St. You can’t beat kids shoes for $.50 (they grow out of them in three months!) and bags of clothes (again which they will grow out of) for $3! Goodwill is also great. Either place, you get the same stuff as the stores at a fraction of the cost. I think it has been one of the ways we have been able to have a parent at home.
Funniest thing your kid(s) has ever said?
Whoa, its everyday and all the time, these kids, without their filters and with such fresh views on the world, keep me laughing and thinking! But here’s a couple off the top of my head:
When Gabe was about 3, he asked us how he would ever find a wife. We said we would help him. Then he asked if we would help him get dressed, cut his hair and shave his beard.
Just the other week as we were leaving for school, Gabe and I had gone outside to walk to the car. Sophia turned to my wife and asked with a sincere and concerned look on her face “Why’d you pick him?”
Favorite park in the Triad?
There are so many great parks here in Winston– perfect for instant “thing to do.” Washington Park is #1 but Hanes Park and is good as is Miller Park. All wonderful places with their own unique strengths.
Mini-van or SUV?
Station wagon! Easy on the petrol!
Best thing about raising a family in the Triad?
I think each city within the Triad, but Winston-Salem in particular has the best of both worlds: All the great amenities of a large city – arts, music, diverse population, economy, dining, education (including great universities), but also all the positives of a smaller town – lots of green space, interesting historical roots (Old Salem, Reynolda), little traffic (we always say it takes 10 minutes to get anywhere in Winston), familiar faces, low crime, relatively little sprawl. And to boot, we are ½ hour from the mountains - and three hours from the beach!
Best kept secret in the Triad?
Winston-Salem Children’s Museum and Horne Creek farm. It’s a restored turn of the century farm – animals, homestead, crops, stream, etc. Very minimal staff leaves you to really imagine our area of many years ago. There are really great events there every season – crafts, food and almost always with live bluegrass!
Best birthday party you have attended?
A great camp-out at our friend’s farm house. Lots of space, great stories and crazy fun!
I could not live without my...
Wife.
I wish someone had told me sooner about...
The Downtown School preschool.
Happy Father's Day, Joe, and thanks for all your Smarty answers!
We are always on the hunt for Smarty Moms - and Dads! And while we're always looking for those who have done AMAZING things such as going above-and-beyond the call of duty for others, doing incredible work for his/her family, friends, or community, or has accomplished tremendous feats - we are ALSO looking to feature moms and dads in the Triad who simply live the daily grit of mother- or fatherhood! Please send us your "mominations" and don't be embarrassed to nominate yourself - no one will know! We look forward to hearing from you. Email us here with your “Smarty Momination”!
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