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Thursday, April 29, 2010

Do You Deserve a Push Present?

By Rachel H

A few weeks ago, a group of my girlfriends got into a discussion about "push presents." If you have never heard this term before, it refers to a gift given to a mom (usually by the dad) after giving birth to a child. These presents are traditionally jewelry or a trip.

Well, the discussion got very heated with many different opinions and I could not believe how passionate some people were about this topic! Wow! We had one end of the spectrum with mothers who felt that the gift was well-deserved after nine months of carrying the baby and hours of delivery. They felt that the gift was not only deserved, but expected.

Then we had a group who thought the push present was the most ridiculous thing they had ever heard of and that the child should be present enough. This group also felt that the final "gift" of pregnancy was something that was deserved by both parents, and that a healthy child was a perfect gift.

But what about the people who tried umpteen times to have a baby and went through years and years of heartache? Another group of my girlfriends thought this group deserved a present.

Then there was my friend who said the husband was the one who deserved a gift for putting up with her crankiness for nine months!

Needless to say, I thought this would be a perfect hot topic for today. I would love to hear what you all think about a push present. Have you heard of this before? Or better yet, had your husband heard of this before? Did you get one? If so, what was it? It you didn't get one, were you disappointed?

Chime in below and if you are unsure of how to leave your comment, click here to find out how. And PLEASE remember to treat others' comments with respect! Remember ... to each his own!

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Courtney said...

Ha! What a great discussion! WHILE pushing I made my husband promise me a trampoline (strange, I know) and a "real" vacation (something warm, just the two of us, drinks with umbrellas, etc.). He promised both, but 9 months later has yet to deliver (for good reasons). You better believe I'm going to hold him to those presents...I was NOT a fan of labor/delivery & needed something to get me through it! :)

Anonymous said...

Neither me nor my husband had ever heard of this when we first got pregnant. A friend of mine and her husband actually brought it up to us at dinner one night and were saying how my husband might want to start thinking about it. I honestly forgot all about it and then when we came home with our first child, he had a necklace for me with a charm representing our daughter. With each additional child we have added a charm. It was a great push present, but was not expected, which made it even better.

Summer said...

I had never heard of a push present. I think people should celebrate the birth of their child (or children cause we had twins) however they wish. We wrote each child a letter, but my in-laws bought us totally expensive cribs for the twins, a cleaning service for six months for our younger son, and a new kitchen floor for our youngest daughter. I do remember in a delirous haze of new momminess following the delivery of our second twin telling my husband that I would never need diamond earrings now. I'm giggling a little bit, about calling it a push present, because no matter what I was promised, I don't think I could possibly be more motivated to get the baby out!

Anonymous said...

I actually know someone who wanted a push gift and wound up buying one for herself worth several hundreds of dollars - crazy!

Allison said...

I received a present from my husband after my son was born. I honestly think it was because the women he worked with at the time told him that was what all men did for their wives after giving birth. :) Then, baby #2 came along and all I asked for was a good night sleep.

Anonymous said...

We had never heard of it, either, until I was pregnant with my first at the same time as 4 of our 5 Dinner Club friends. I was 3rd to go, and my poor husband had to follow the others' gifts - one of which was diamond earrings. But he got me a beautiful locket with our daughter's initials engraved on the back, which was way more personal and - to me - thoughtful than diamonds. (baby #2 he gave me a charm bracelet personalized with her initials). I think a "push gift" is a nice gesture - regardless of how easy or hard it was to get pregnant or be pregnant - but certainly not an expectation. Now if only we could trade the "push gift" for a gift of "forever I will actually notice what needs to be done with the kids and house and do it in a timely fashion!"

Amie said...

With each of my daughters, my husband gave me a different piece of jewelry. Whenever I wear any of these pieces, I think of my daughters, and they often comment that I am wearing "their" jewelry.
My husband also received a gift at each of their births. Each of his gifts are engraved with that daughter's name and birth date, along with a special note.

Anonymous said...

I don't have kids but my best friend had her first recently. I had always heard it was customary for the dad to give the new mom a gift after the baby was born, but she was the first person I ever heard call it a "push present."

Anyway, her husband gave her another beautiful diamond band to go with her wedding ring set, so he did great! He gave it to her before she even gave birth b/c he wanted the hospital time to be all about their daughter! Even before giving birth, my friend said one day she will pass the band along to her daughter, which I think makes the gift even more special.

Anonymous said...

Never heard of it, but I think the name "push present" is yucky, honestly.

That said, I think a better idea would be to do something for the mom a few weeks or couple of months after the baby comes. If the mom is at home, then a good present for dad to get is to get a babysitter (preferably a good friend or family member to cut down on the worrying) and take mom out on a date. Oh, and clean the house for her before the sitter comes so she doesn't have to. I "earned" two push presents, and I would rather have a night out as an adult and a clean house any day.

Rachel H said...

To anonymous above - I am dying laughing at your comment about the term push present being yucky! I completely agree! :) We should coin a new term like "new mommy gift"- a little less gross, huh?

Brian said...

So, I heard about this through my wife and had to leave a comment... I have never formally heard the term, "Push Present", but I gave my wife a pair of half caret diamond solitare earings with the birth of our daughter. It turned out to be truly wonderful because as all friends and family left the hospital on the first night, I completely surprised her with the little black box. She cherishs this gift very much and the memory it brings each time she wears them.

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