Sunday, April 5, 2009
When Do You Tell Work You've Got a Bun in the Oven?
By Tracy S, Charlotte Smarty Pants
I had dinner with a friend this past weekend who I hadn't seen in about a month. The minute I walked through her front door I knew she was pregnant! No words needed to be spoken, I just KNEW! I guess it's that sixth sense us mommies have that we can always tell when a woman is preggers. So when she finally spilled the beans over dinner, I excitedly shared in her news and told her I could tell from the moment I first saw her. Panic briefly crossed her face as she asked HOW did I know?? Was she showing already? She had not told work yet and wasn't sure if she was officially ready to. Were they able to pick up on it as well? I assured her I could only tell because I know her so well and could see the happy pregnancy glow written all over her face. But it does raise the question of when is the right time to tell the people you work with that you're pregnant. Depending on your situation, that's not always an easy answer.
When I was pregnant the first time, I wanted to shout it from the rooftops! I got pregnant almost right away and was relatively naïve to fertility challenges and miscarriages. I thought, "I'm healthy ... do I really need to wait 12 weeks before I start telling people"? My husband felt pretty strongly about that so we kept our happy news to ourselves for the time being. However, morning sickness set in hard and I thought for sure everyone around me all day at work would suspect something. So when my boss (who also happened to be a friend of mine) was worried about me one day when I looked like I was going to pass out in a staff meeting, I couldn't contain my news any longer. It was actually a relief to tell her. Then when one of our male co-workers asked her if I had been eating too many Girl Scout cookies, I knew it was time to let everyone else know.
The second time around ... things were a bit different. It took us much longer to conceive, I was now considered "high risk" because of my age, and I was much wiser to the heartaches friends and family had faced with miscarriages. This time I really didn't want anyone at work to know until I was ready ... at a large company, word spreads fast so I wanted to be sure before it got out. The challenge however with a second pregnancy - which I'm sure many of you can relate to - is that it is MUCH harder to hide that little belly bump that wants to pop out right away! I swear I started showing the day after I peed on the stick!!! Plus, I was traveling a lot and with travel typically comes drinks with your co-workers! I got creative in both my wardrobe as well as how to order a vodka tonic, hold the vodka. And my morning ... I mean ALL DAY ... sickness was 10 times worse this go around. So I ended up confiding in a few close friends at work and somehow managed to hold off telling my boss and the masses until around 11 weeks. We were on a business trip and I ordered a non-alcoholic beer with dinner but discreetly asked the waiter to pour it in a glass before bringing to the table. What I didn't realize is that when the bill came to my boss (who used to work in the beer industry, by the way), it clearly stated the name of that non-alcoholic beer right there for him to see. Busted!
So, what about you - how did you handle this delicate situation? Did all go as planned or did you end up getting busted like I did? Tell us your funny stories!
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2 comments:
I had a tough time with this one considering my boss was one of my best friends! It was tough to keep quiet, but I waited until the 12 week mark and then told my closest friends, which included my boss. She told me it was totally up to me when I would tell the rest of our workplace, and she kept quiet until I decided to do so. I think it was just a month later when I told. It went well, I took my maternity leave and returned back to work ready to go!
Ha! My boss was the first person I told, and that was only two days after I found out! The reason was she took me to lunch and told me she wanted for me to run the department while SHE was on maternity leave after adopting a baby, and of course it was going to coincide with my due date. I felt like I really needed to tell her so that she could make other plans. It worked out fine, though. Even though she was adopting, it was as if we went through our pregnancies together—same excitement, same waiting, and similar ups and downs. And the same wonderful outcome!
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