Monday, June 29, 2009
Bye-Bye Pacifier!
By Rachel H
When is the right time to put your child through pacifier detox? And how do you do it? As we all know, every child is different. Some children never take a pacifier. It could be because they were never offered one by Mom & Dad or because they just didn’t want it. Some kids and babies prefer to suck on their thumbs or fingers, and some don’t need anything at all. I had one of each – my son took a pacifier before we even left the hospital. My daughter wanted nothing to do with it, but never sucked her thumb either.
Some parents are against pacifiers while others have them on their baby registry before their little one even arrives! Some parents think they are OK for just a while, and others are saying, “Why can’t they just have their binky as long as they want?” The American Academy of Pediatrics does say pacifiers are OK throughout baby's first year. They may soothe fussy babies, help them go to sleep, and research has shown that they may help reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. The cons of using a pacifier are that early pacifier use may interfere with breast-feeding. They are also found to be responsible for 25% of ear infections in children under age 3, and your child may become dependent on the pacifier.
I did a little research online and found that one of the main reasons children should stop pacifier use after their first few years is to prevent dental problems. It has not yet been proven, but I also read that there are studies being done to find out if pacifiers can affect speech and language delays. According to the Mayo Clinic, most children stop using the pacifier between ages 2 and 4.
I did do one thing that I think was a huge plus in my son’s situation. He had a pacifier in his mouth quite a bit when he was a baby, but I made sure to take it out as often as possible when he was happy without it. As he grew, it made it very easy for us to keep the rule of pacifiers in the crib only. He had them for naps and nighttime, and that was it. The benefit of this is that #1 – you are not constantly hunting down a pacifier when you are around the house or out in public. #2 – pacifiers don’t get left in random places, which leaves you stuck with nothing when your baby wants it. #3 – the pacifiers are not being thrown around and dropped in nasty places such as public floors and outdoor areas. #4 – It is much easier to wean them from it later on.
When we thought it was a good time to do so, my husband and I decided to go “cold turkey” and took the pacifiers away completely. (It seems so mean, I know!) We told our son about the new babies being born in the hospital and how they needed the pacifiers now. He was getting too big and needed to pass them on. Of course he did not agree with this concept entirely, but was somewhat open to it. We prepared him a few days before the big pacifier drop off, and kept reminding him that soon we’d be taking the pacifiers to the new babies. When the day arrived, we drove to the hospital with a Ziploc bag of all his pacifiers in hand. We went up to the floor with the baby nursery and showed our son all the new babies crying in their little beds. When a nurse walked by, our son gave her the Ziploc bag and we explained to her that he was leaving the pacifiers for all the new babies since he was now a big boy. (I am sure that the nurse thought we were crazy and wondered if we seriously thought that she was going to give our nasty used pacifiers to the new babies, but that was beside the point!) We walked out of the hospital hand-in-hand, and our little boy was so proud of himself. We then went to the toy store and found a stuffed animal that would replace the need for his pacifier comfort that night.
According to Dr. Ann Corwin, parents should teach the time and place for your kids to comfort themselves instead of taking comfort away entirely. The objects that kids cling to have nothing to do with the object itself. For this reason, it is important to have something for children to soothe themselves with once the pacifier is gone. And don't worry - they will give that up eventually, too!
Now I know what you are thinking – what happened that night? I will not lie, ladies and gentleman. It was absolute torture. Our poor little poor had a really tough time trying to put himself to sleep. But, the next night got a little better, and by the third night, he went right to sleep without any trouble, and went back to being a great sleeper in no time. I know what else you are thinking – didn’t we keep at least one pacifier in case of an emergency? Nope. If we gave in, it would defeat the purpose of everything we were trying to accomplish.
In the end, I was really happy with the method we used. I think it taught our son a little bit about giving to others, it also helped him to feel very grown up, and he honestly forgot all about the pacifiers within a week.
Another idea is to use a Pacifier Fairy who comes along and collects all the pacifiers and leaves the child with something else in return. Or you can always do the little-by-little method and give the pacifier to your child less and less frequently. This could possibly take forever though. And if you are lucky enough, you may even have one of those children who throws it away himself when he's two years old!
What worked for you? Share your tips and methods below. We’d love to hear from you!
13 comments:
Oh, the pacifier days - I am so glad they are over. My children loved their "passies". When it was time, we also went cold turkey. Both kids struggled for about 4 days and then it was as if they never knew what a pacifier was. One thing that I instantly noticed was that they both became healthier children. I think the passies just harbored germs. And, there was quite a bit of passy swapping that went on in our house and at playdates.
We have a 2 year old who still craves his paci. We have instituted the only-in-the-bed rule as well and he will go upstairs and get in bed to have a quick fix! I'm really struggling with how to take it away when he still seems to attached...
Rachel, I'm going to have to use your system for getting my 2-year-old son to quit his addiction to his milk "ba ba" at nap, bedtime - and sometimes he asks for more in middle of the night and in the morning. UGH! I need it to end!!!!
Thanks, great post!
Katie
When I tried to cut our son's pacifier, he cried for two hours saying "bink broke". (he was 2.) For about 3 weeks, naptime was awful, but we let him have the pacifier at night. Four months later, when we took it away at night, it was a lot easier. We would let him snuggle on our bed with it for shorter and shorter periods of time, then up to his bed, no protest.
no pacifiers here. eeww. neither of our kids took to them, thank goodness. but, had they, i think we would have stopped cold turkey. just like with the bottle. my youngest is turning one on Friday and her bottle is all but gone. the only one left is the one she has with her dinner. now, she can go upstairs and get her teeth brushed before bed. by Friday, that last bottle will be a thing of the past!
None of our four kids would take a paci, and now I have two four year olds who I absolutely cannot get to stop sucking their thumb and fingers. Unfortunately, you cannot donate those to the new babies, "lose them" or run them over with the car. Any suggestions here, besides the totally mortifying, night guard?
I was just reading a magazine that recommended putting a few band-aids on your child's thumb to help them stop sucking it. It said they could pick out some cute band-aids and then tell them maybe the "super power" of the band aid would help them stop sucking!
I am her Grandfather and I think she is the most beautiful little girl in the world even with the pacifier!!!
I am her Grandfather and I think she is the most beautiful little girl in the world even with the pacifier!!!
The pacifier may even intensify the cute-ness! :)
One of our neighbors took their daughter's paci to Build a Bear and they stuffed it inside a stuffed animal she made and so she gave up the paci, but still feels like she has it close by since it's in this new "comfort" item that replaced the paci. It sounds like a good idea?
I sucked my thumb until I was - perhaps 8 or 9. So, I could totally relate to my son's interest in his "bubby" - pacifier (never interested in his thumb). Because I often have dentists say to me "your teeth are so nice and straight - did you have braces?" I always enjoy telling them "no, and, I sucked my thumb till I was about 9 years old!" Imagine their surprise. We decided that it was absolutely OK with us if our son had a pacifier and were not going to put him throught trauma of taking it away before he was ready. I didn't know when that would be. We didn't allow him to wander around the store with it hanging out of his mouth - but, for naps, bedtime, and when he wanted it at home and in the car we were fine with that. He's now 12. Does he still use it? Obviously not. How did he give it up? I came home from work one evening and was greeted by my husband who told me in a somber tone "The bubby broke". Oh my. The nipple had come apart from the main part. My son was devastated. He was curled up on the couch, looking as if someone he cared for had just died. They no longer were making that type of pacifier or, I surely would've gone to the store to get one! How old was he? I think 5 or 6. I know there are gasps happening by those of you reading this. He survived it. THat night was difficult but I think not as painful as if it had been "taken away from him." To give to the new babies in the hospital or removed by the "pacci fairy" - it would have still been an outside force taking something that was his. He is an extremely well adjusted child and has always been very healthy. So, my message is this - thumb sucking did not ruin my teeth. A pacifier through age 5 or 6 did not damage my son. For those parents who are thinking that they might want to not steal the pacifier from their child, please know that if you go this route, you are NOT going to create a maladjusted child or one with buck teeth! I think many times, we succomb to the looks of disdain from friends and family and cannot turn them off when they say "Oh! You still allow him to use a pacifier!!??? What kind of parent are you??? Better start saving for the orthodontist!"
I'm not a mother..yet but I do have 2 neices, neither of them used a paci. But as far as the thumbsucking goes..nothing will stop it, I still suck my thumb when I'm alone at night and can't sleep and I'm 27.
It will stop when your child is embarrassed at school and doesn't want comments from his friends, but it may never stop when at home.
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